Epic Kelpie Dildo Water Spirit 22 cm: review

Epic Kelpie Water Spirit 22 cm at a glance — here’s what you get

Epic Kelpie Dildo Water Spirit is a fantasy dildo made of silicone with no electronics, with a strongly ridged texture along the entire shaft, a slightly curved profile, and a flared suction-cup base. The name comes from the kelpie in Scottish and Celtic folklore — a water spirit that, according to legend, takes the form of a horse and lures travelers down into rivers and lakes. Sexonic sells the model under the longer original name Epic Kelpie Dildo Water Spirit Horse Form, and it’s the horse-shaped silhouette that explains both the shape and the shorter names used by Swedish stores.

The specification is brief, because there is no electronics to specify. The manufacturer’s own dimension drawing states the total length is 220 millimeters, the insertable length is 200 millimeters, and the suction-cup base width is 85 millimeters, and it also lists the shaft diameter at four points: 50, 55, 65, and 65 millimeters measured from top to bottom. EPIC’s own product text lists the material as high-quality liquid silicone, body-safe and hypoallergenic, and the weight as 540 grams. The product is sold in Sweden by five stores at prices between 595 and 679 SEK, and four of them had it in stock during the price check on September 12, 2026.

This review is exclusively about the item with EAN 8435565953676, which Sexonic publishes as gtin13, mpn, and sku in its structured product data with the brand EPIC, and which Blush Me and SexleksakerOutlet list as the sku on their own pages. Vuxen shows the same number as the article number in the quick facts box. Four independent confirmations of the same number is unusually good coverage in this category, and that means there is no risk of mixing up Kelpie with another size or color variant—EPIC has only made one.

What a dragon dildo is, and where Kelpie falls on the scale

The category is called dragon dildo or fantasy dildo and gathers products whose shape deliberately does not imitate a penis. Instead, they are molded into something else—a reptile shaft, a tentacle, a horse shape—usually with a clearly textured surface pattern and a multi-color molding. Both Blush Me and Vuxen place Kelpie in that exact category, and Vuxen lists it under its own heading Dragon dildos.

What distinguishes the products within the category is rarely the technology—they are all massive silicone castings without motors—but the geometry. And that’s where Kelpie sits toward the upper end of the scale. The manufacturer’s dimension drawing states 65 millimeters as the largest diameter for the shaft, and that number appears in two of the four measurement points. For comparison, the same manufacturer’s Nixie model lists 40 millimeters as the maximum, and Empusa 45 millimeters, according to the retailer Blush Mes’ feature tables. So Kelpie is not a model you start with. What can be established is that 65 millimeters in diameter corresponds to a circumference of just over 20 centimeters if the cross-section were completely round—and that’s a size that a large share of the category’s buyers will have no use for.

The insertable length of 200 millimeters is the second figure that determines who the product is right for. It’s above what many people have to work with vaginally, and in practice that means that part of the shaft stays outside the body regardless of how the product is used. It’s not a defect—it’s just how this category looks—but it’s a reason to read the dimensions before you pay, instead of assuming the product name’s 22 centimeters.

EPIC CYBERSILICOCK — who is behind Kelpie

The EPIC brand is owned by the Spanish distributor Dreamlove. The trade magazine EAN Online reported on May 24, 2024, that Dreamlove launched the EPIC CYBERSILICOCK collection, a series of silicone dildos and masturbators that the manufacturer itself describes as inspired by Greek mythology. The collection includes, among other things, Nixie, Empusa, Drakon, Basilisk, Furias, Ashtar, and Vrakos, and Kelpie is therefore one of them.

Here’s a detail that’s worth noting, because it says something about how the collection is put together: Kelpie is not a Greek figure. The kelpie comes from Scottish and Celtic folklore, which the manufacturer’s own product text also states—it talks about Celtic legends, not about Greece. The backstory of Greek mythology that wraps around the entire EPIC CYBERSILICOCK therefore doesn’t apply to this particular model. Naturally, it doesn’t affect anything about how the product works, but it’s an example of how loosely the marketing is stitched together with the product in this category.

The responsibility information is, on the other hand, unusually concrete for a fantasy brand. The German retailer Koschari publishes the manufacturer’s mandatory statement about the manufacturer and the EU-responsible person: International Dreamlove S.A.U, Parque Logístico de Carmona, Calle Abastos 13, 41410 Carmona, Sevilla, Spain. The same page lists the manufacturer’s article number 8435565953676, and the Portuguese retailer EuPoUpo has the product under EPIC’s own reference EPI53676. This makes the product traceable to a named legal entity within the EU, which is more than many competitors in the price range offer.

Material and build quality: liquid silicone in a solid cast.

The material question is the only property of an intimate product that can’t be compensated for through experience or care, and it determines whether the product is still hygienic after five years. EPIC specifies a single material for Kelpie: high-quality liquid silicone, described as soft, flexible, and durable, body-safe, hypoallergenic, and easy to clean. The exact same wording appears again with Koschari in German, with EuPoUpo in Portuguese, and in the Swedish translation that Blush Me, Vuxen, and SexleksakerOutlet use. So it’s the manufacturer’s own material description, not a store interpretation.

What liquid silicone means in practice

Silicone is a non-porous material. A non-porous surface can be cleaned, because there aren’t any microscopic cavities where residue can get stuck. This is the single most important property of a material that’s supposed to come into contact with the mucous membrane, and that’s why the material declaration carries more weight than almost all other lines in a specification.

The term "liquid silicone" refers to the molding method rather than to another type of chemistry. The material is poured into the mold in liquid form and it hardens there—this is the prerequisite for being able to mold both the ridged surface texture and the multi-color transition from pink via orange to turquoise in a single working step. What can be established purely from a structural point of view is that the product is therefore one single massive body without seams, without openings, without a battery compartment, and without a charging contact. There’s no joint where dirt can collect, and nothing that can fail electrically.

The downside of the same thing is that there is nothing to service. A silicone cast that has been torn or cut cannot be repaired, and a product that has become sticky on the surface cannot be restored. The lifespan is thus determined entirely by how the surface is treated, and that is why the section about lubricants further down is the most important practical advice in this entire review.

Phthalates, hypoallergenic, and what is not declared

Phthalates are a group of plasticizers used to make plastic—above all flexible PVC—pliable. Kemikalieinspektionen describes them as substances that can affect the hormone system and make reproduction more difficult, and several of them are therefore restricted or banned within the EU in a large number of products. This specific product category is repeatedly the subject of supervision because it contains flexible plastic against the skin and mucous membranes.

This is where Kelpies first real weakness lies on paper. EPIC makes no explicit phthalate, BPA, or latex declaration for Kelpie. The manufacturer’s text says “body-safe” and “hypoallergenic,” and the product image says “supersoft silicone.” None of these formulations is a declaration of which substances are included or not included. None of the five Swedish shops fill in the gap either.

It should be said that the material information itself is a better indication than many alternatives. Silicone does not require phthalate plasticizers to become soft—the softness comes from the polymer’s own structure—and that is the technical reason why the word silicone in a material box is worth more than terms like “TPE” or “jelly rubber,” which say absolutely nothing at all about which plasticizers are included. But the difference between a phthalate-free product likely being phthalate-free and the manufacturer writing it out explicitly is real, and the latter is missing here.

How soft is Epic Kelpie? The question the manufacturer doesn’t answer

On a product with a maximum diameter of 65 millimeters, the hardness of the material is at least as important as the dimensions. A soft cast gives way and can be pressed together; a hard cast does not. Two dildos with identical measurements can therefore work completely differently depending on how the silicone is mixed.

EPIC does not publish any Shore hardness for Kelpie, either in the product text or on any of the product images. What the manufacturer does is put two performance labels on the image—“supersoft silicone” and “fully flexible”—and that’s the whole basis. None of the five Swedish shops publishes a value either. In practice, that means the only guidance available is the manufacturer’s own adjectives, and adjectives cannot be compared between brands. Shore 00-30 and Shore A-20 are both described as soft in marketing and still feel noticeably different.

What can still be concluded, though, is two things. A weight of 540 grams on a body of this size suggests a massive molding without an internal core, and the manufacturer’s statement “fully flexible,” combined with the product image’s clearly compressible surface profile, points in the same direction as the category overall: fantasy dildos in this price range usually fall on the softer half. But this is a conclusion drawn from phrasing, not from a published value, and anyone who needs to know exactly should assume that the information isn’t available.

Dimensions: 220 millimeters total, 200 insertable, and 65 at most

The dimensions are the most interesting part of this product, both because that’s what you buy, and because the manufacturer publishes two sets that don’t match each other. We go through both.

Dimension drawing: four diameter points on the same shaft

EPIC provides a clean dimension drawing in its own image series, and it’s unusually informative for the category. The drawing states the total length as 220 millimeters, the insertable length as 200 millimeters, and the suction cup base width as 85 millimeters. In addition, it marks the shaft’s diameter at four points counted from top to bottom: 50 millimeters, 55 millimeters, 65 millimeters, and 65 millimeters.

Four measurement points instead of a single “max” figure are more than most manufacturers in the category provide, and they serve a real purpose. In practice, it means you can read how quickly the product widens: from 50 millimeters at the very top to 55 millimeters a bit further down is a steady increase, while the step to 65 happens further down and then stays constant throughout the entire lower half. So the shaft is not conical all the way, like Nixie is, but rather slightly tapering in the upper third and straight in the lower one. That means you can’t regulate the thickness by choosing insertion depth in the same way as with a conical model—once you’ve passed roughly the middle, you meet 65 millimeters regardless.

The difference between total length and insertable length is 20 millimeters, which is the part that consists of the suction cup base and the transition to the shaft. It’s a narrow margin, and it says the base is thin relative to its width—which is also visible in the manufacturer’s suction cup image.

Two sets of measurements from the same manufacturer

Here’s a find that the buyer should know about. EPIC’s dimension drawing and EPIC’s written product text indicate different values for two of the measurements.

• Largest diameter. The dimension drawing states 65 millimeters, and that number shows up in two of the drawing’s four measurement points. The product text, which Koschari reproduces in German and EuPoUpo in Portuguese, instead states 6.0 centimeters—so 5 millimeters less than the drawing’s maximum value.
• Suction cup diameter. The dimension drawing states 85 millimeters. The product text states 9.5 centimeters, so it’s one centimeter wider.
• That which matches. The total length of 22 centimeters, the insertable length of 20 centimeters, and the weight of 540 grams are identical in both sources.

The conflict runs straight through the retail chain, and that’s where it becomes practically interesting. Blush Me, Vuxen, and SexleksakerOutlet all use the exact same Swedish translation, but with the drawing’s numbers baked in: largest diameter 6.5 centimeters and suction cup base 8.5 centimeters. Joyme uses EPIC’s original text straight out and therefore lists 6.0 centimeters for the largest diameter, 3.2 centimeters for the head diameter, and 9.5 centimeters for the suction cup. So two Swedish stores that sell the exact same item number give the buyer two different answers about how thick the product is.

Our assessment is that the drawing weighs more heavily, for two reasons. It’s more specific—four measurement points instead of a single summarized max value—and it comes from the design stage rather than from the copy text. We therefore list 65 millimeters as the largest diameter and 85 millimeters as the base in the specification table, with the product text’s deviating values noted on the same line. The head diameter of 3.2 centimeters, on the other hand, exists only in the product text and has no counterpart in the drawing, which has its top measurement point a bit down the shaft—so the two pieces of information don’t contradict each other; they measure different places.

Who 65 millimeters actually fits

This is the question that determines whether Kelpie is the right buy, and it deserves a straightforward answer. 65 millimeters in diameter is a size for someone who already knows it works. Compare the figures from the same manufacturer’s other models, according to the retailer Blush Me’s specification tables: Nixie is at 3–4 centimeters, Empusa at 4.5 centimeters, and Drakon at 6.4 centimeters. So Kelpie is right at the top together with Drakon, and more than 60 percent above Nixie.

In practice, that means Kelpie isn’t a product you buy to try the category. Someone who’s curious about fantasy shapes but unsure about size would do better to start with Nixie or Empusa, which cost 299 and 459 SEK, respectively, at the same store, and move up in size later if it turns out to work. It’s also the only way to avoid the scenario that makes the category expensive: a product that you buy, open, and find impossible to use can’t be returned, because the right of withdrawal is essentially broken once the seal is broken.

The other measurement that limits it is the insertable length of 200 millimeters. It’s above what’s usable vaginally for many, and that means that part of the shaft in practice works as a handle rather than as the insertable section. It’s not a drawback in itself—it gives a secure grip—but it means that the effective length is shorter than the 22 centimeters stated in the product name.

Suction cup: 85-millimeter base vs. 540 grams to hold against

The suction cup is the only “functional” part on a product without electronics, and EPIC highlights it with its own labeling on the product image: “strong suction cup,” with an arrow pointing to the extended base. It’s a commitment without any measurement value, but the construction can be assessed from the dimensions.

How well does the suction cup stick — and to what?

What determines a suction cup’s practical holding strength is the relationship between the base’s area and the lever that the shaft forms, as well as the weight that needs to be held up. The manufacturer’s drawing provides both figures: an 85-millimeter base for a shaft that is 65 millimeters at thickest, and 540 grams to hold against.

That relationship isn’t as favorable as it is on the manufacturer’s smaller models. Nixie has, according to the same type of dimension drawing, a 70-millimeter base for a shaft of at most 40 millimeters, and a weight of 165.1 grams according to EPIC’s product text. Calculated as a ratio, Nixie’s base is 1.75 times the shaft width, while Kelpie’s base is only 1.31 times its shaft — while weighing a little more than three times as much. What can therefore be concluded is that Kelpie places higher demands on the surface than a smaller model from the same series does, and that you should expect it needs a truly smooth and clean surface to sit securely: glass, tile, or a painted/varnished surface—not a painted wall or a textured shower enclosure.

A practical tip that applies to suction cups in general: moisten both the suction cup and the surface with water before you press it in place, and push the air out from the middle and outward. Dry against dry always gives a worse grip. And check the attachment with a pull test before applying any load — a suction cup that comes loose during use is a bigger problem on a product that weighs half a kilo than on one that weighs 165 grams.

Does Epic Kelpie work in a strap-on harness?

The question is reasonable, since a flat suction cup base is the kind of base that usually works in O-ring harnesses. But here the answer has to be careful: neither EPIC nor any of the five Swedish stores states that Kelpie is compatible with strap-on harnesses, and none of them also states the base’s thickness—only its diameter of 85 millimeters.

What can be reasoned based on the dimensions is that an O-ring must be wider than the 65-millimeter shaft so that the product can be threaded through, while the 85-millimeter base must be wide enough not to be pulled through the ring. So the margin is 20 millimeters split on both sides, which is tight. Add in the 540 grams hanging in the harness, and you get a design that puts demands on both the harness and the ring’s size. Anyone buying Kelpie specifically for harness use should check the ring size against these numbers first, and expect that there is no manufacturer support for the use.

“Waterproof” without a rating—what it actually means

EPIC puts the label "waterproof" on its own product image, along with "supersoft silicone" and "fully flexible". This is the only piece of information about water resistance that exists, and it has no rating.

For electrical products, there is an international standard, IEC 60529, which defines enclosure classes in the form of IP ratings. The second digit in an IP code indicates protection against water: IPX7, for example, means submersion to a depth of one meter for 30 minutes. Such a rating is verifiable, because it corresponds to a defined test procedure. EPIC does not provide an IP rating for Kelpie, and none of the stores does either.

In this specific case, it matters less than it would for an electrical product, and it’s worth saying plainly. Kelpie is a solid silicone casting with no battery, no motor, no buttons, and no charging contact. There is no opening for water to get in through. What can be established is that, from a design standpoint, the product simply has nothing to protect — and therefore an IP rating would not be meaningful even if the manufacturer wanted to publish one. So the word "waterproof" is likely correct, but it’s a property that follows from the design rather than from a tested enclosure.

Cleaning, lubricant, and storage

Rinse the product in lukewarm water after each use, and use fragrance-free soap or a cleaning agent intended for intimate products. The heavily ribbed surface is the only complication: the structure has deep grooves that need to be worked through, and a quick rinse isn’t enough in the same way as it is for a smooth product. Wipe it with a clean towel and let it air-dry completely before putting the product away — moisture left in the grooves is the only thing that can cause odor over time on a non-porous surface.

The lubricant question is the most important thing with a silicone product. Use a water-based lubricant. A silicone-based lubricant should not be used on silicone products — it breaks down the silicone surface over time and makes it porous, and a porous surface can no longer be cleaned properly, only replaced. Oil-based products like coconut oil leave a film that is difficult to remove and can make the surface sticky. The formulation is especially relevant here, because a product with this diameter is almost always used with plenty of lubricant.

Store the product dry and separately from other silicone. Two silicone products that lie against each other for a long time can react with each other on the surface. A cotton bag or a clean box is enough. The manufacturer publishes no information about what is included in the packaging, and none of the five stores states it either, so don’t count on a storage bag. Joyme lists the shipping dimensions as 210 × 90 × 90 millimeters and the shipping weight as 582 grams, which suggests a fairly tight package—those 210 millimeters are even shorter than the product’s own 220, which indicates the product is packed diagonally or bent rather than in a rigid cardboard box along its full length.

Can Epic Kelpie be used anally?

The product has a flared base, which is the design detail that normally determines whether an insertion product is suitable for anal use. But here you need to be careful about what is actually stated somewhere. Neither EPIC nor any of the five Swedish stores lists anal use for Kelpie. The manufacturer’s text discusses penetration and depth without specifying, and the stores’ attribute lists don’t address the question. For comparison, Blush Me explicitly states for the Another World model that it is “used both vaginally and anally”—so the store includes it when the information is available.

What can be confirmed purely from a design standpoint is that the base at 85 millimeters is wider than the shaft at 65 millimeters—that is, the geometry that is normally required. But 65 millimeters in diameter is a measurement that makes the question fairly theoretical for most people, and the lack of explicit manufacturer support means that we do not recommend using it based on this specification.

Epic Kelpie compared with the alternatives

Three comparisons are relevant: against the only model in EPIC’s own series that falls into the same size class, against the closest competitor in the same length from another brand, and against the series’ entry-level model. All the comparison information below comes from the retailer Blush Me’s attribute tables for the respective product, and all prices are from the stores’ product feeds on September 12, 2026.

Against Epic Drakon Yellow Cobra 20.5 cm—same price, almost the same thickness

Epic Drakon Dildo Yellow Cobra costs 595 SEK at Blush Me, i.e., exactly the same price as Kelpie. The store’s attribute table lists the length as 20.50 centimeters, the insertable length as 18.50 centimeters, and the largest diameter as 6.40 centimeters. The material is listed as high-quality silicone, and the color as yellow.

So the difference is, in practice, less than you would think from the different names. Drakon is 1.5 centimeters shorter overall and 1.5 centimeters shorter insertable, and 1 millimeter narrower at its thickest point. It is, in practice, the same size class. What differs is the shape—Drakon is cast as a cobra shaft in a single color, Kelpie as a horse-shaped, multi-colored body with a ridged structure—and that Kelpie has a published dimension drawing with four diameter points, while Blush Me's specification table for Drakon only provides a maximum value.

Conclusion: if you choose between the two, it comes down to appearance and how much dimension information you want before buying, not to size or price. Kelpie gives you more data to base your decision on. Drakon gives you a slightly shorter insertable length, which can be the deciding factor if 200 millimeters feels like too much.

Against Another World Dildo Pink & Purple 22.4 cm — 200 SEK cheaper

Another World Dildo Pink & Purple from the brand Mythical Mates costs 395 SEK at Blush Me, i.e. 200 SEK less than Kelpie. The store’s specification table states the length as 22.40 centimeters, the insertable length as 19.30 centimeters, and the largest diameter as 5.50 centimeters; high-quality silicone material and multi-colored.

So the length is practically identical—Another World is 4 millimeters longer overall and 7 millimeters shorter insertable. The decisive difference is girth: 55 millimeters versus Kelpie’s 65. That’s a full centimeter in diameter, which is a significant difference at this end of the scale. Blush Me also explicitly states for Another World that it is used both vaginally and anally, which is a piece of information that is completely missing for Kelpie.

Conclusion: if you want the length but not the girth, you save 200 SEK and get a clearer usage instruction with your purchase. If you want the girth, it’s not available for Another World—and in practice that’s basically the entire reason to pay more for Kelpie. What Another World, however, doesn’t have is any dimension drawing; Blush Me’s specification table lacks both weight and several measurement points, while EPIC publishes four diameter points for Kelpie.

Against Epic Nixie 15.5 cm — same series, half the size, half the price

Epic Nixie Dildo Shape-Shifting Spirit costs 299 SEK at Blush Me. The store’s specification table states the length as 15.50 centimeters, the insertable length as 13.00 centimeters, and the diameter as 3.00 to 4.00 centimeters. EPIC’s product text states the weight as 165.1 grams.

So Nixie is the entry-level model in the same series, and the relationship between the two is easy to calculate. Kelpie is 6.5 centimeters longer overall and 7 centimeters longer insertable; it is 25 millimeters thicker at its thickest point, and it weighs 540 grams versus Nixie’s 165—more than three times as much. You pay 296 SEK more for that, which is roughly a doubling.

The conclusion is the only reasonable path through the series: start with Nixie if you’re unsure, and move up to Kelpie once you know. Both the conical shape and low weight make Nixie a product where you choose how much you use, while Kelpie locks you into 65 millimeters as soon as you’ve passed about the middle of the shaft. If you’re not sure that 65 millimeters works, you shouldn’t pay 595 SEK to find out.

Price range: 595 to 679 SEK at five stores

Five Swedish shops sell the item with EAN 8435565953676. Three of them — Vuxen, Blush Me, and SexleksakerOutlet — are at exactly 595 SEK, Sexonic lists 596 SEK in its feed, and Joyme is highest at 679 SEK. That’s an 84 SEK, or a little over 14 percent, difference between the lowest and highest price, which is an unusually tough price spread in this category.

Stock status changes the picture less than usual. Four of the five stores had Kelpie in stock during the price check on September 12, 2026; the only one marked as sold out in the feed was Sexonic, and in practice it’s at the same price as the three cheapest. That means the cheapest available price is 595 SEK, and there are three stores to choose from at that price.

Two details are worth including in the calculation. Vuxen states that the lowest price over the past 30 days was also 595 SEK, which means the price is holding steady rather than being a temporary discount. And the shipping thresholds differ: Vuxen offers free shipping from 799 SEK, while Joyme offers free shipping only from 899 SEK. So on a single item priced at 595 SEK, you pay shipping regardless of the store—and that difference can weigh more than a few extra SEK on the item price. Blush Me also promotes Kelpie in the campaign "2 for 799 SEK", which makes the per-item price drop sharply if you were planning to buy two things anyway.

Sexonic prices in euros on its own site and lists 596 SEK in the product feed. So the price spread isn’t because one store sells a different variant—all five stores list the item under EAN 8435565953676 or under their own item number tied to that specific item. The prices in the table above are updated when the stores’ product feeds are updated, but always check the final price at checkout.

Who is Epic Kelpie for—and who isn’t it for?

It’s for you if you already know you want a product in this size class and you want a fantasy shape rather than a realistic one. It’s for you if you want as much size information as possible before buying—four diameter points on a published drawing is more than almost any other competitor in the category provides. It’s for you if you want a massive silicone casting with no electronics to charge, clean around, or see go break, and for you who want a product that can be rinsed off under running water without overthinking it.

It doesn’t suit you if you’re new to the category. A 65-millimeter diameter and a 200-millimeter insertable length aren’t measurements you can just experiment your way through, and the same manufacturer sells Nixie for 299 SEK and Empusa for 459 SEK if the goal is to find out whether fantasy shapes work for you. It also doesn’t suit you if you require a published material declaration — EPIC writes "body-safe" and "hypoallergenic" but does not provide any ftalate, BPA, or latex declaration — or you who need to know the silicone’s hardness before buying, because no Shore hardness value is published.

One more thing belongs in the decision. The weight of 540 grams isn’t a figure that looks big on a datasheet, but you notice it in practice: it makes demands on the suction cup’s surface, it makes the product unsuitable in an easy strap-on harness, and it means the product needs somewhere to lie down rather than being thrown into a pouch. Kelpie is designed as a main product for home use, not something to take with you.

Warranty, complaints, and right of withdrawal

EPIC does not publish a warranty period for Kelpie, and none of the five Swedish stores states any either. It’s not uncommon in this category — a product without electronics has few parts that can stop working — but that means there is no voluntary manufacturer warranty to lean on, and that everything rests on your statutory rights.

Your rights, on the other hand, are strong. Under the Swedish Sale of Goods Act (konsumentköplagen), you have three years of right of complaint for defects in the goods, regardless of whether the manufacturer provides any warranty or not. A defect in a silicone casting — a bubble in the material, a crack in the suction cup, a surface that changes without you having treated it incorrectly — is exactly the kind of thing that’s covered, and it’s the seller in Sweden you turn to, not the Spanish manufacturer.

For distance purchases, you also have a right of withdrawal for fourteen days under the Distance Contracts Act (lagen om distansavtal och avtal utanför affärslokaler). Here, however, there’s an important practical exception: the right of withdrawal is limited for sealed goods that, for health or hygiene reasons, are not suitable to return once the seal has been broken. Konsumentverket provides guidance on how the exception is applied. In practice, this means you can’t try out a dildo and then send it back, which is the whole reason why the measurements section above is the most important part of this text. The right of complaint for defects, however, always applies — even to an opened product.

The fact that the manufacturer and the EU-responsible person are named — International Dreamlove S.A.U in Carmona outside Seville — is something worth having in this context. It means there is an identifiable legal entity within the EU that you can take action against if a store were to shut down, and it’s more than what several competing fantasy brands in the same price range disclose.