The escalation is the entire product — and two out of ten have none.
An anal chain is not a toy with one size. It’s a staircase: the first ball should be small enough not to be a hindrance, the last ball large enough to be a point, and the steps in between smooth enough that there’s never a jump. The entire product type is built on that staircase. That’s why the number of balls and the diameter of each of them are the two most important figures on the package — more important than the total length, which is the number the shops put in the product name.
And this is where the field splits. Two of the ten ranked models have no staircase at all.Hidden Desire Extreme Heavy Anal Balls Largehas four balls that all measure 4 centimeters, according to the manufacturer’s own measurement profile.Mr. Play Waterdrop Anal Balls XLhas four balls of 48 millimeters each, according to the manufacturer’s own dimension sketch. Both are well-made products in solid silicone. But the person who buys them isn’t buying a staircase—four identical steps—and it’s a completely different product than the picture on the packaging suggests.
That’s also the individual characteristic where the rating differences in this guide are greatest. On the criterion of shape and progression, the range spans from 9.4 to 3.4—a span of six full points, larger than on any other criterion. None of the Swedish sites that rank anal beads states bead diameters at all.
Ball by ball: one in ten manufacturers specifies each diameter
Only one manufacturer in the entire desk review publishes the diameter of every bead. Mr. Play puts the seven values 21, 22, 25, 26, 28, 31 and 33 millimeters in its own dimension drawing for Anal Bead Large. It’s the only model in the field where you in advance know exactly how large each step is—and the steps are also the field’s smallest, between one and three millimeters.
The rest publishes a range. Blush indicates 2.3 to 3.8 centimeters over six balls, Black Velvets 2.3 to 3.9 over six, All Black 3.0 to 4.5 over five batches. A range says how the product starts and ends but says nothing about the size step in between—six balls between 2.3 and 3.8 centimeters can be evenly distributed or have the entire jump between ball one and ball two. It’s exactly those even size steps that make a chain useful for beginners, and you can’t read them out of a range.
And three publish neither ranges nor individual measurements. Lelo does not publish the bead diameters for Soraya Beadsdespite the fact that four beads in increasing size is the product’s main argument. Satisfyer publishes a single width specification, 28 to 33 millimeters, for a package that contains two different chains. Vergite publishes nothing at all—the measurements for SWT One come from the shops.
Here’s what it looks like in summary, sorted by how much the manufacturer actually provides:
Each bead measured separately: 1 out of 10 (Mr. Play Anal Bead Large, seven values). A diameter range across the entire chain: 5 out of 10. A single diameter measurement for all beads: 2 out of 10, and both lack progression. No bead diameters at all from the manufacturer: 2 out of 10.
Four equally sized balls are a rod with bumps
The two models without progression deserve their own section, because they’re sold as anal beads and are built like anal beads but function as something else. Hidden Desire Extreme Heavy is 39 centimeters long and 4 centimeters thick all the way through. Mr. Play Waterdrop XL is 52.5 centimeters and 4.8 centimeters all the way through. None of them has an entry that is smaller than the rest.
Compare with Anal Fantasy Rechargeable Anal Beads, which has four beads with a steadily increasing size and a tapered top. Same number of beads, completely different design. Or with Mr. Play Anal Bead Large, which has seven beads and an opening of 21 millimeters — less than half the Waterdrop model’s overall through-measurements.
It’s not a defect in the products. Both are molded in one piece from silicone without seams, and both have manufacturer specifications that match across the sources, which is more than most in the field can show. But they’re products for a very narrow group, and the ratings they get here — 4.2 and 3.4 for shape and progression — are about the function category that the feature is named after being missing, not about build quality.
Everything that’s inserted has to come out again — and that’s determined by three centimeters at the end.
This is the category’s only real safety concern, and it distinguishes anal beads from almost all other anal toys. An anal plug has a broad flange that physically stops it. An anal chain, in most cases, only has one loop, and a loop stops nothing on its own — it gives you something to hold. The difference between the two solutions shows up in the manufacturer’s published shape and can be checked before you buy.
The field is divided into three. Six of the ten ranked have a loop or ring: Satisfyer, both Mr. Play models, Blush, Black Velvet’s, and Hidden Desire. Three have something that’s actually wide: Lelo Soraya Beads’ drop-shaped handles, Anal Fantasy’s sideways T-bar, and All Blacks’ flat bottom plate. SWT One has a base diameter listed as 11 centimeters, almost twice as wide as the largest bead at 6.5 — but that’s a store listing, and there’s no pull-through.
The combination that requires the most is a long insertable length behind a loop. Blush Anal Adventures Large has 38.1 centimeters insertable length, according to the manufacturer, and it ends in a pull handle without width. That’s the single reason the category’s best-documented material still only gets 6.6 for safety and extraction, which is the lowest score for that criterion across the entire review.
Loop, T-bar, or bottom plate — what each one actually does.
A loop or finger ring provides grip. It’s molded in one piece with the shaft on the Mr. Play models and on Hidden Desire, which means there’s no twist or seam that can come undone — it’s a better build than a threaded cord, and it’s spelled out in the manufacturers’ own product images. But a loop has no width, and the person who chooses a loop chooses a product that’s never meant to be left without supervision.
A sideways T-base is the opposite. Anal Fantasy Rechargeable has a flat base that is wider than the widest ball and only 14.2 centimeters insertable—according to the manufacturer’s own packaging claim. That gives the field’s highest rating on the criterion, 9.0, and it’s the reason why a model that otherwise has thin specs still lands in eighth place and not lower.
A base plate or a wide handle falls in between. Lelo Soraya Beads has a teardrop-shaped handle where the controls sit, so a width that follows from the fact that it’s an electronic product—it gets 8.8. All Black has a flat, round base plate wider than the shaft, but the plate’s dimensions are published by no one, neither by the manufacturer Belgo-Prism nor by the stores.
Four checks before you buy, in the order they matter: is the end wider than the widest ball, or just something to grip; is the loop molded in the same piece as the shaft or attached on; is published insertable length, or only total length; and is the chain flexible enough that the end reaches when the rest is inside.
Insertable length: two out of ten manufacturers publish it
Total length and insertable length are two different measurements, and it’s the latter that determines what the product does. Only two manufacturers in the review publish it: Blush specifies 38.1 centimeters out of 40.6, and Anal Fantasy states 14.2 centimeters out of 17 directly on the packaging. For two more, the information is available at the stores but not from the manufacturer—Satisfyer Love Beads is listed as 14.5 centimeters per chain by a retailer, and All Black as 37 centimeters out of 41.5.
For the other six, no insertable length is published at all. This applies to Mr. Play in both lengths, Black Velvets, Hidden Desire, SWT One, and Lelo—and Lelo is the most curious gap in the entire field, because the same manufacturer fills in the insertable length field for its own Hugo 2. So the information exists in their system, but not for Soraya Beads.
Practically, that means the total length in the product name can’t be read as a measure of how much product goes in. SWT One is called 72 centimeters i both the product name and the store headline. How much of those 72 is insertable is nowhere stated, neither by the manufacturer nor by any of the five retailers that list the item.
Anal balls, anal chain, anal pearls, anal beads—and clenching balls, which are something else
Four words are used for the same product type in Swedish retail, and the stores hedge between them. Vuxen has the heading Köp analkulor och anal beads on its category page. Sinful has both analkulor and analkedjor as two separate categories in the navigation. In practice, analkedja is used more often for the really long models, from four decimeters and up, and analkulor for the entire category. Here, analkulor is used throughout, and analkedja where length is the point.
Anal pearls are the same thing and occur mainly in older product names. Anal beads and anal balls are loanwords that you don’t need to look for separately — eight of the ten models in this list have the word in their own product name, because the names come from the manufacturer’s article data and not from Swedish retail. If you search for any of the four words, you end up in the same assortment.
Knipkulor, on the other hand, aren’t the same product, and it’s worth a separate point because the names actively cause confusion. Lelo sells both LUNA Beads and Soraya Beads under the same brand and with the same suffix. Soraya Beads are anal balls.LUNA Beads Mini are knipkulor for pelvic floor training, meaning vaginal, and they have neither a chain nor the kind of step-up that this guide ranks by. They’re among the five excluded options further down. The other anal toys that have been reviewed are in the review archive.
That’s how the order was determined
Fifteen models were checked against the manufacturers’ own specifications, dimension drawings, manuals, and product sheets, with prices taken from all Swedish shops that sell each item. Ten are ranked here. The five that were left out are at the very bottom, with the reason stated. Each number in the table has a source link in the product’s own review, and how the points are set is described under so I rate.
What makes this category different to assess is that most of the technology is missing. Eight out of ten have no motor, meaning no runtime, no charging time, no programs, and no charging cable. Two out of ten have a published ingress protection rating. Three out of ten publish a warranty. What’s left to compare is the material, the shape, the design at the end, cleaning, and the price — and those are exactly the five criteria below.
What counted as anal balls here
The definition is narrower than the shop category pages, and that’s intentional. A product counts as anal balls in this review if it has two or more clearly separated balls on a shared flexible shaft, and it ends in a loop, ring, flange, or plate. That excludes three things that are often found in the same shop category: plugs with a ball-shaped shaft, inflatable products, and knipkulor.
This isn’t an academic classification. Two of the five Swedish editorial pages that rank anal balls have products in their top list that don’t meet the definition — one has a prostate vibrator with a ball-shaped shaft as number one, and the other is an inflatable product. If you don’t write a definition, anything can win.
In addition to the shape requirement, four practical conditions applied: the item must be sold by at least three Swedish shops, and it must have been in stock with at least one of them at the time of the price check 14 September 2026, it should be possible to match it by EAN across the stores, and there should be at least one published dimensional specification to assess the shape. The last condition is set deliberately low — if manufacturer dimensions had been required, two of the ten cases would have been eliminated, and that would have been punishing the product for the manufacturer’s website.
The five criteria, converted for a category without a motor
The site’s vibrator guides rate battery and charging as one of five criteria. Here, it would have resulted in eight zeros out of ten for something that is not a drawback — a silicone chain without a battery is no worse than one with a battery; it’s a different kind of product. The criteria were therefore recalculated for the category. Each criterion is scored 0 to 10, and the rating is the average of the five, so they are weighted equally. The ranking follows from the rating, not the other way around. Rating scaleis the same as on the rest of the site.
Material and hygiene measure what the surface is like, whether it is non-porous, whether the casting is in one piece, and what the manufacturer declares about phthalates and plasticizers. Safety and retrieval measure the end: loop, base, or plate, how it is attached, and how much product sits behind it. Shape and progression measure the number of balls, the ramping between them, and how well it is specified in dimensions. Cleaning and water resistance measure whether the product can be rinsed freely and what the manufacturer publishes about it. Price versus performance compares the lowest price in stock against everything else.
One criterion is deliberately not included: the scope of the documentation. Several of the original reviews had such a criterion, and that is the wrong basis for assessment — a product doesn’t become worse just because the manufacturer’s website is sparse. The absence of the information should be stated in the text, not lower the rating. What sparse documentation may cost, however, is points on the criterion it actually relates to: if no one can substantiate that the material is silicone, the material rating cannot be set as if it were supported.
Four objections to the ranking, tested one by one
Mr. Play vs Satisfyer for first place. Mr. Play clearly wins progression — seven individually exposed ball diameters versus five elements within a range of five millimeters. But Satisfyer takes four out of five criteria: published IPX7, published temperature range, fifteen years of warranty, and the field’s lowest price, with two chains in the package. The placement stands.
Blush vs Satisfyer. Blush has the field’s best-documented materials — Puria platinum-hardened silicone, explicitly free from phthalates, paraffins, and latex — and it also wins progression. But 38.1 centimeters insertable behind a loop without width gives the field’s weakest safety rating, and a 17 SEK price difference isn’t enough to offset it. Blush stays at third.
Lelo beats Black Velvet for fourth place. Lelo scores three criteria out of five and has the field’s second-best solution at the tip. But on price versus performance, it’s 2.8 points apart: 1,186 SEK versus 249 for a product that does the same thing without a motor. The average keeps Black Velvet in fourth.
The biggest adjustment concerned the SWT One. The model had received 1.5 on a criterion called manufacturer documentation—that is, the exact assessment method the system prohibits. Without that criterion, and measured by its published specifications, the product moves from last place to sixth. The material rating for Mr. Play Anal Bead Large was increased at the same time, from 7.6 to 7.9, after the review showed that the silicone information comes from the manufacturer’s own datasheet and not just from the retailers.
No budget award is handed out, and that is intentional.
The winner is also the cheapest model in the entire review. Satisfyer Love Beads costs 195 SEK, versus 199 for second place and 212 for third place. Awarding a budget prize anyway would have required it to go to a more expensive product than the one that is already at the top—in other words, inventing a category just to fill a label.
It’s worth saying plainly, because awards are the first thing a reader looks at. Four out of ten products in the list have one: best in test, best for beginners, the writer’s choice, and the premium pick. Six do not—and not because they’re bad, but because they’re not the best at something that has its own name.
41 store listings, matched by article number
The price in the table is the lowest price at a store that actually had the item in stock14 September 2026That’s a more important clarification than it sounds: several of the models have their absolute lowest price at a store that was sold out at the time of the check, and a price you can’t buy at is no price at all. Hidden Desire had six store listings, but only three with stock.
The stores are matched by EAN, meaning the same item number—never by product name. The same chain sells under different names at different stores, and matching names produces incorrect prices. This is especially true in this category, where the product names are English manufacturer names that stores translate differently. During the work, a store was also found that lists the same EAN on two separate product pages with different prices, which makes any price comparison based on names instead of article numbers unreliable.
In total, 41 store listings sit behind the ten rows, between three and six per model. The spread between the cheapest and most expensive store for the same item is shown model by model further down.
Read the measurements list before the rating
An anal chain is described with four numbers: total length, insertable length, ball diameter, and weight. Three of them are rarely published, and the fourth—total length—is what the shops include in the product name and what says the least about how the product works. Anyone who learns to read the four in the right order does not need a review to filter out half the range.
The range in this roundup is extreme. The shortest is Satisfyer’s round chain at 20.5 centimeters, and the longest is SWT One at 72—a factor of 3.5. The narrowest published entry width is 21 millimeters, the thickest published ball is 6.5 centimeters, so more than three times as thick. Lightest weighs 113 grams, heaviest weighs 800.
Total length, insertable length, and the 51 centimeters in between
Total length counts the entire product including loop, handle, or base. Insertable length counts only the part that is intended to be inserted. The difference is rarely small: Blush lists 40.6 and 38.1 centimeters, Anal Fantasy 17 and 14.2, All Black 41.5 and 37 according to the shops. So it is between two and four and a half centimeters—but only when someone publishes both numbers, which happens in four out of ten cases.
When only the total length is available, it provides no guidance. Between Mr. Play Anal Bead Large at 26.7 centimeters and SWT One at 72, the total length differs by 45.3 centimeters, and neither of them publishes how much is insertable. If you include Anal Fantasy’s 14.2 centimeters insertable, the field spans 51 centimeters between its shortest insertable length and its longest total length.
Practical: a long chain isn’t harder by itself, because you decide how much is used. What makes a long chain more demanding is that it sits behind a loop instead of behind a wide base, and that it is often thicker at the end. Read the length together with the tip—never alone.
The entry diameter is the measurement a beginner should look for
The first bead determines whether the product is possible to start with. Six of the ten manufacturers publish a minimum size, and the differences are big: 21 millimeters on Mr. Play Anal Bead Large, 23 on Blush and 23 on Black Velvets, 30 on All Black according to the shops, 40 on Hidden Desire and 48 on Mr. Play Waterdrop XL. From 21 to 48 millimeters is a factor of 2.3 for that specific measurement that decides the first attempt. For Satisfyer, retailers list 19 millimeters on the round chain, which is the smallest entry that is published in the field at all. Lelo, Anal Fantasy, and SWT One publish no starting diameter at all.
Three levels, with the models in this list as examples. Never tried: an entrance under 25 millimeters and six beads or more—meaning Mr. Play Anal Bead Large, Satisfyer’s round chain, Blush, or Black Velvets. Used to anal toys: an entrance around 30 millimeters—meaning All Black. Experienced and specifically looking for thickness: 40 millimeters and up without stepping up—meaning Hidden Desire or Waterdrop XL—and then as a deliberate choice, not as a first chain.
Note that the number of beads and the entrance are connected. Four beads at 39 centimeters means long spacing and large beads; seven beads at 26.7 centimeters means short spacing and small steps. Same category, opposite products.
Weight: from 113 grams to 800, and why it’s in the table
Weight is a measurement that almost never gets discussed in this category, but it spans seven times across the field. Mr. Play Anal Bead Large weighs 113 grams, Satisfyer 118, Lelo 145, Blush 153,Black Velvets 165, Hidden Desire 210, Mr. Play Waterdrop XL 377, All Black 616, and SWT One 800. Anal Fantasy publishes no weight at all.
The weight follows the bulk-molding: a one-piece cast silicone chain without voids is heavy in proportion to its volume, and it’s precisely the absence of voids that makes it easy to clean. So heavy products are not necessarily built worse—Hidden Desire’s 210 grams are 210 grams of solid silicone with no seams. But the weight says something about what happens when the product hangs in its loop, and that’s a reasonable thing to know before buying 800 grams.
Two warnings about weight figures. Packed weight and net weight are systematically mixed together in store data: for Satisfyer, 118, 180, and 338 grams circulate for the same article, where the last one obviously is shipping weight. And Black Velvets 165 grams appears in an information field, not as a published net weight, which makes it a weaker figure than Mr. Play’s 113 grams from the manufacturer’s own data sheet.
Nine silicone and one PVC—what is actually stated in the declaration
The material is the real dividing line in the category, because the product is inserted into the body and because silicone and PVC behave differently in cleaning. Of the ten ranked, nine are listed as silicone and one as PVC. But behind the word silicone there are four very different claims, and it is the difference between them that determines how much the material listing is worth.
Blush is the strongest, as it names the silicone type—Puria platinum-hardened—and also declares the absence of phthalates, paraffins, and latex. Next come the manufacturers that state silicone directly: Satisfyer, Mr. Play in both lengths, Black Velvets with the addition of pore-free and without plasticizers, and Hidden Desire with 100 percent silicone. Lelo and Anal Fantasy are weaker, as they state silicone and ABS plastic without writing which part is which. SWT One is the weakest, where high-quality silicone is a store claim that the manufacturer never confirms.
Two statements are worth not being taken in by. The term medical silicone is not used by any of the ten manufacturers in this list—it appears in shop texts, but none of them links it to a standard or a test, and without that it is a sales pitch, not a material declaration. And body-friendly or skin-friendly are wordings without any defined content. What can, however, be checked is whether the casting is one piece: a continuous chain with no material seam between the balls, shaft, and loop has no joint where residue can collect, and this design is supported by the manufacturer’s own images for Mr. Play, Hidden Desire, Blush, and Black Velvets.
Phthalates: one out of ten has an explicit declaration from the manufacturer
Phthalates are plasticizers used in soft plastics, and the restriction on them in consumer products is regulated by REACH, Regulation (EC) No 1907/2006, with Annex XVII as the part that lists the prohibited substances. Kemikalieinspektionen is the Swedish authority that carries out the oversight. That makes phthalate-free a claim that can be backed up—if someone publishes it.
In this review, only one manufacturer does it: Blush states phthalate-free, paraffin-free, and latex-free in its own product data. For Satisfyer, All Black, and Anal Fantasy, phthalate-free is a claim from the shops, not from the manufacturer, and those are two different kinds of statements. For Mr. Play, Black Velvets, Hidden Desire, Lelo, and SWT One, there is no phthalate declaration at all, neither from the manufacturer nor from the shop.
That does not mean they contain phthalates. It means the information is missing, and it is that wording that should be there—neither an exonerating nor a condemning judgment. Competing sites routinely write that a product is body-safe and free from phthalates if a single shop listing says so. Want to know more about the terms there is glossary.
PVC and silicone are not the same thing when cleaning
All Black Anal Beads 41,5 cmIt is the only PVC product among the ten. PVC is cheaper to mold, which is the whole reason a 41.5-centimeter-long chain can cost 212 SEK, and the material itself is not banned or illegal — the manufacturer Belgo-Prism in Belgium lists it openly as PVC in its own product data.
The practical difference comes down to the surface and heat resistance. Silicone, which is pore-free, can be rinsed completely and tolerates hot water; PVC does not tolerate boiling and is harder to get completely clean. Stores are also divided on which lubricant can be used on All Black's surface — one store says that both water-based and silicone-based work, while another says only water-based. When there’s disagreement, the more cautious guidance applies.
If you still choose PVC for the sake of length and price, it’s a reasonable choice as long as you know what you’re giving up. At almost the same price, you can get Blush Anal Adventures Large at 40.6 centimeters in platinum-cured silicone for 212 SEK — the same price, a six-decimeter chain, and a documented material.
Water and cleaning: two out of ten have an IP rating, eight have a single word
Enclosure rating is given according to the IEC 60529 standard. IPX7 means the product can withstand being submerged for one meter for thirty minutes — in practice, that the whole product can be rinsed under the tap and not just wiped off. It’s a tested and defined claim. The word watertight without a rating does not mean it is.
Two of the ten ranked models have a published IP rating: Satisfyer Love Beads, where IPX7 is in the manufacturer’s specifications, and Lelo Soraya Beads, where IPX7 is in the manual. Three more are labeled waterproof by the manufacturer without a rating — Mr. Play in both lengths and Anal Fantasy. One, Hidden Desire, is labeled waterproof by the stores but not by the manufacturer. Four publish nothing: Blush, Black Velvets, SWT One and All Black.
For the eight models that don’t have a motor, it matters less than it sounds. A massive silicone chain without electronics, without a battery compartment, and without a charging contact has no openings where water can get in, and it can be rinsed freely regardless of whether anyone has put an IP rating on the packaging. It’s for the two vibrating models that the class actually matters — and there, one has IPX7 in the manual, while the other has the word waterproof and a product-specific pin connector in the base.
Cleaning, step by step: rinse the entire chain in lukewarm water directly after use; wash with mild soap or toy cleaner and rub along the seam between the balls, where residue gets stuck; rinse off all soap, because leftover soap on the mucous membrane is the most common cause of irritation; let it air-dry completely before storing, never tightly rolled up with moisture; and store the chain stretched out or loosely coiled in a bag, not tightly wound around itself.
Lubricant: water-based for nine out of ten, and a store dispute
Anal use requires lubricant — there is no built-in lubrication, and that applies to every model in this list regardless of price and material. Water-based lubricant is the right answer for nine out of ten, and it’s also what the manufacturers themselves recommend when they say anything at all.
Avoid silicone-based lubricant on a silicone surface. It’s the same material family, and over time this combination makes the surface sticky and harder to get clean. Since nine out of ten products here are silicone, the rule is simple to remember: water-based for everything in this guide. Hybrid lubricants contain silicone and therefore fall under the same warning.
The exception is precisely the product where the exception is disputed. For All Black in PVC, one shop states that silicone-based lubricant works, while another says only water-based. Two shops giving different answers about the same item is no guidance at all, and then the safer rule applies: water-based.
Vibration in two out of ten — what the motor costs and what it locks
Two of the ten ranked have a motor: Lelo Soraya Beads with eight settings and 520 mAh, and Anal Fantasy Rechargeable with one button and a number of settings that the manufacturer does not publish — the shops say 10 and 7, respectively, for the same item. That’s the entire vibrating field.
What the motor costs shows up in the price list. The eight manual chains cost between 195 and 395 SEK. The two vibrating ones cost 424 and 1 186. So you pay at least a couple of hundred SEK and at most almost a thousand SEK extra for the function, and in both cases you get a product with fewer published dimensional specs than the manual ones — neither Lelo nor Anal Fantasy specifies individual bead diameters.
What the motor locks is more concrete. Electronics means a charging contact, and both models have a product-specific one: Lelo has a round DC charging contact that no standard cable fits into; Anal Fantasy has a small pin socket next to the button in the T-base. None of them charges via standard USB-C, even though Anal Fantasy is marketed with the marking USB Rechargeable — the socket in the base is product-specific, and the USB side is on the other end of the included cable. If you lose the cable, the product is unusable until a new one is ordered.
Neither of the two has a remote control, and neither of them has app control. It’s worth knowing before you pay the premium price: Lelo’s own Hugo 2 costs 931 SEK, that’s 255 less than Soraya Beads, and it has app control. Electronics also means that the product’s lifespan is determined by the battery rather than by the material, and that’s the real argument for the eight manual chains — a massive silicone chain has nothing that can stop working.
Same item, different shop: up to 1 103 SEK
All prices below refer to the same EAN, meaning exactly the same item, at Swedish shops at the time of the check 14 September 2026. The median spread in this category is around 50 percent, which is more than in any other category on the site, and it hits the most expensive product the hardest.
Model for model, from the largest spread to the smallest: Lelo Soraya Beads 1,186 to 2,289 SEK, plus 93 percent and 1,103 SEK calculated in kronor. All Black 212 to 395, plus 86 percent. Anal Fantasy 424 to 759, plus 79 percent. Satisfyer Love Beads 195 to 299, plus 53 percent. SWT One 395 to 595, plus 51 percent. Blush Anal Adventures 212 to 299, plus 41 percent. Hidden Desire 329 to 399, plus 21 percent. Black Velvets 249 to 279, plus 12 percent. Mr. Play Waterdrop XL 349 to 359, plus 3 percent. Mr. Play Anal Bead Large 199 SEK at all three stores, so zero.
Two conclusions follow. The first is trivial but costly to ignore: buying Lelo Soraya Beads in the wrong store costs 1,103 SEK extra the same day, which is more than the entire winner and runner-up combined. The second is less obvious—the two models that have near-zero spread, both from Mr. Play, are also the ones that have the most published measurements from the manufacturer. Where the product data is unambiguous, pricing is too.
Counted per centimeter chain, the ranking looks different than per product. Actually, the cheapest is the winner, because the package contains two chains: 195 SEK for 20.5 plus 27 centimeters comes to 4.11 SEK per centimeter. Next is All Black at 5.11, Blush at 5.22, SWT One at 5.49, Black Velvets at 6.23, Mr. Play Waterdrop XL at 6.65, Mr. Play Anal Bead Large at 7.45, and Hidden Desire at 8.44. The fact that the cheapest centimeter in the field after the winner is massive PVC, and the second-cheapest is platinum-cured silicone for the same price, says more about pricing in this category than any rating does.
Seven mistakes that this category punishes more harshly than others
To buy based on total length. The length is in the product name and tells you the least of all four measurements. 72 centimeters without a published insertable length and without a published entry diameter is a number with no meaning.
To treat the number of beads as a quality measure. Four beads can be a nice staircase, as with Anal Fantasy, or four identical balls, as with Hidden Desire. The number means nothing without the diameters.
To take the word waterproof as an enclosure rating. Eight of ten lack an IP rating. The word waterproof on a package is the manufacturer’s wording, not a tested value according to IEC 60529.
To choose the loop and then leave the product without supervision. A loop is a handle, not a latch. If you want something that stops by itself, the end has to be wider than the largest bead, and then the choice is between Anal Fantasy, Lelo, All Black, and SWT One.
Relying on a store listing as if it came from the manufacturer. Two of the ten have all measurements from the stores, and for All Black the stores also provide three different overall lengths for the same article number.
Using silicone-based lubricant against silicone. Nine out of ten products in the list are silicone, and the combination makes the surface sticky over time. Water-based for everything here.
Chasing the lowest price without checking stock status. Hidden Desire had six store listings, but only three had stock at the time of the check. A price you can’t buy is no price quote.
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