How does a strap-on work—and how do you choose the right model?

A strap-on makes it possible to penetrate a partner with a dildo that’s attached to the body instead of being held in the hand. It’s used by couples in all configurations, vaginally and anally, and the person wearing it has their hands free. In practice, the term covers three different constructions.

The classic one is a harness with a ring in the front piece. The dildo’s base is threaded through the ring from the inside, and the harness keeps it in place with straps around the waist and thighs. The second is a complete kit, where the harness and dildo are sold together. The third is a strapless model—often called a strapless strap-on—which has no straps at all. It has a shorter end that’s inserted vaginally for the wearer and a longer end that points outward.

All three work, but they suit different people. A harness sits securely regardless of body type and makes it possible to switch dildos. A strapless model provides stimulation both ways but requires the person wearing it to be able to hold it in place with pelvic floor muscles. A comparison of the models can be found in the guide to strap-on best in test.

The harness is the most flexible solution, because it isn’t locked to a specific dildo. But the price tag often applies only to the harness—the dildo isn’t included and must be bought separately. Check this in the product description before you order.

The ring’s inner diameter is the most important measurement for a harness. The shaft has to go through the ring, and the base must be wider than the ring so the dildo stays in place. A ring that’s too wide lets the base slip through, while one that’s too tight won’t let the shaft through.

That’s why you often get several rings with it.You2Toys Universal Harnessis delivered with three interchangeable metal rings at 4, 5, and 6 centimeters, and Taboom Strap-On Harness Deluxe with two rings of 3.5 and 4.5 centimeters. Compare the rings’ dimensions with the dildo’s diameter at the base—and keep in mind that some manufacturers don’t publish that exact measurement.

Harnesses are available as a jockstrap model with two thigh straps and as thong-like models. The straps should be adjustable so that the front piece sits firmly against the pubic bone without chafing. Check the adjustment range if the manufacturer publishes it: You2Toys states a waist size of up to 155 centimeters and thigh straps of up to 48 centimeters, but many manufacturers don’t state any measurements at all.

Most affordable harnesses are made of PU, meaning faux leather, sometimes with neoprene and metal buckles. According to the care instructions from the manufacturers, PU should be wiped with a damp cloth and mild soap—not machine-washed—and massage oil can damage the surface.

A selfri strap-on is molded in one piece, often in silicone, and curved so that the shorter end is inserted vaginally for the person wearing it. The longer end points outward. Since no harness holds it in place, it’s the pelvic floor that does the work, and there’s a learning curve. It’s also mentioned in the review of Lovense Lapis , which is the only selfri model in the comparison where the manufacturer provides insertable length for both ends: 138 millimeters outward and 87 inward.

There are selfri models with and without a motor.Get-Real Toyjoy Strapon Strapless is completely manual: 23 centimeters total with a shaft of 14 centimeters and the diameters 3.8 and 4.5 centimeters according to the manufacturer’s dimension diagram. Lapis has three motors and app control. Vibration on the inner end is one reason many people who wear a selfri model choose it over a harness.

Keep in mind that a selfri model lacks a flared base. Toyjoy’s own user manual links anal use to products with a flared base—so the selfri shape should therefore not be inserted anally for the person wearing it.

If you choose a harness, the dildo is the part that determines the experience. Three things matter most. The first is size, and it’s the insertable length and diameter that matter—not the overall length.Silexd 17,6 cmSilexd has, for example, a total length of 17,6 centimeters but 13,6 centimeters insertable and 3,5 centimeters in diameter. For someone receiving for the first time—and especially for anal use—a smaller dildo is almost always a better choice.

The second is the base. It must be wider than the ring and can be flat or have a suction cup. Manufacturers often state whether the dildo is harness-compatible: Silexd specifies compatibility with most harnesses, and Mythology Kuno UtopiaSilexd has a suction-cup base and is listed by the manufacturer as harness-compatible.Fun Factory Rydealso has a harness-compatible base.

The third is the material. Silicone is non-porous and can be cleaned properly. PVC and other soft plastics are porous and can be cleaned but not sterilized. More models with published base measurements can be found in the guides to realistic dildos and fantasy dildos. Read also 10 things to know before you buy your first dildo.

Pegging means that a woman penetrates a man anally with a strap-on, but the same advice applies to all anal use of a strap-on. Start by going through what you want to try, how you say stop, and who sets the pace. The person receiving should be able to decide the tempo.

Choose a small dildo to start with, and one with a base that the harness holds securely. During anal use, the flared base is a safety feature and not just an attachment: it prevents the toy from slipping all the way in. Use plenty of lubricant, since the anal canal doesn’t produce anything on its own, and go slowly. Fingers or a small anal plug can be a way to get used to it first—see the guide to anal plugs.

Change the condom or clean the dildo before using it vaginally after anal use. A condom over the dildo makes it easier to switch and keep the toy clean.

Remove the dildo from the harness after each use and clean it with mild soap and warm water, or with the cleaning product recommended by the manufacturer. Let it air-dry completely before putting it away. The harness is dried separately with a damp cloth and mild soap, and the metal rings on a model from You2Toys can be taken out and cleaned separately.

A harness-free model with a motor must be charged and cleaned according to the manual. Lapis is rated IPX7 and can be submerged, while XOCOON’s harness-free model is only IPX5 and, according to the manufacturer, must not be used in water. Follow the temperature limits: Toyjoy, for example, states a maximum of 45 degrees for its harness-free model, which rules out boiling and dishwashers.