Realistic dildo: what makes it realistic – and how do you choose?

A realistic dildo is shaped after a real penis. What sets it apart from a smooth or stylised dildo is the details: a defined glans, veins along the shaft, often balls at the base and a colour in a skin tone. With the better models, realism is also about how it feels – a surface that gives while the shaft still holds its shape.

Realism is not the same as quality. A realistic dildo can be moulded in non-porous silicone or in porous PVC, and the manufacturers' documentation ranges from complete dimension drawings to almost nothing. When choosing, it is therefore wise to take it in a certain order: material, then size, then base and use – and appearance last.

This guide goes through what creates the sense of realism, what the different materials mean in practice and how to read the measurements. If this is your first dildo ever, you can also read 10 things to know before you buy your first dildo.

The first thing you see is the shape, and that is where realistic dildos differ most in their level of detail. Silexd describes its Silex-D as having a veined shaft, a defined glans and balls. Pipedream's King Cock range has the same basic shape in several sizes and colours, and the manufacturer calls the surface in the basic range RealDeal Lifelike Skin.

The balls are mainly part of the look and are not a safety feature in themselves: for anal use it is the manufacturer's instructions and the design of the base that count, not whether there are balls. More on that further down.

The curve varies. Most realistic dildos are straight or slightly curved, but there are models where you decide the angle yourself. King Cock Vibrating Dildo with Balls has, according to Pipedream, a bendable core that holds the angle you set.

What usually decides whether a realistic dildo feels lifelike is the combination of a soft surface and a firm core. A real penis is neither completely hard nor completely soft, and many realistic dildos try to imitate that with dual density: a soft outer layer over a stiffer core. Both Silexd and King Cock Elite are built that way. We go through the technology in detail in dual density dildos.

Hardness is rarely published as a measured value. The manufacturers in our reviews give no Shore hardness, and when a retailer writes firm, medium or soft it is the retailer's own assessment. Read how the dildo is constructed rather than how it is described.

Temperature is also part of the feel. Silexd states that the material in Silex-D is thermoreactive – softer when warmed, firmer when chilled – and for the largest model publishes time limits for warming. That does not apply to realistic dildos in general: many manufacturers advise against warming the product at all.

Realistic dildos are made in three main materials, and Pipedream's King Cock range illustrates this well: the manufacturer has one line in PVC, one in silicone and one in TPE. The shape can be almost the same – the difference lies in what the material can handle.

Silicone is non-porous. The surface is sealed, can be cleaned completely and can in some cases be sterilised; Silexd allows boiling for three minutes for Silex-D The Original 26.6 cm. Silicone requires water-based lube, since silicone lube can damage the surface.

PVC and TPE are porous. They can be cleaned on the surface but not sterilised, and they are therefore less suitable for sharing without a condom. In our reviews, the cheapest realistic dildos are made of PVC. Look for a phthalate declaration: for King Cock 23 cm, the manufacturer publishes none, while Pipedream declares phthalate-free PVC and ABS in the instructions for the vibrating King Cock model. The full run-through of the materials is in safe materials in sex toys.

The practical advice: if you want a dildo that lasts a long time and can be kept completely clean, choose silicone. If you want to try a realistic shape at the lowest possible cost, PVC works, but replace it if the surface starts to get sticky or dull or develops an unusual smell – that is the material breaking down.

Many realistic dildos come in several skin tones. According to Pipedream, the King Cock range comes in Light, Tan and Brown, with the same shape and a separate item number per colour. Silexd sells the Silex-D 17.6 cm in Flesh, Pink, Black and Caramel, while the largest 26.6 cm model only comes in Flesh.

The colour does not affect function, but it does affect what you search for when comparing prices. Each colour often has its own item number, and retailers sometimes mix up the variants. Check that it is the same colour and size when you compare.

Realistic dildos are often sold with a length in the name, and that figure means different things at different manufacturers. King Cock 15 cm is 17.4 centimetres in total and 15.2 centimetres insertable. King Cock Elite 20 cm is 22.0 centimetres in total and 20.3 insertable – so the figure in the name roughly corresponds to the insertable length. At Silexd, the box and the specification can even disagree: 26.6 centimetres on the packaging, 25 in the specification.

So always compare insertable length and diameter, and take the manufacturer's own measurement over the retailer's. The diameter usually matters more than the length. Among the models in this guide, the range runs from 3.5 centimetres (Silexd 17.6 cm) to 5.5 centimetres (King Cock 23 cm). How to read the measurements, and which sizes tend to work for beginners, is covered in what size dildo should you choose.

Most realistic dildos have a suction cup at the base. It lets the dildo be attached to a smooth surface for hands-free use, but it needs to be large in relation to the weight. King Cock 15 cm has a 6.6 centimetre suction cup for 211 grams, King Cock 23 cm has 9.2 centimetres for 577 grams. Which surfaces work, and why the suction cup sometimes lets go, is covered in suction cup dildos.

Many models are also harness compatible. King Cock 15 cm is marked Strap-on compatible on the packaging, and Pipedream states that King Cock Elite fits most traditional harnesses. The base must be wider than the harness's O-ring; read more in how does a strap-on work.

For anal use there is one rule without exception: the dildo must have a flared base that stops it from slipping in completely. Check what the manufacturer says about your particular model – for King Cock 23 cm, Pipedream gives no word on anal use, neither yes nor no. Use plenty of lube, go slowly and stop if it hurts. More about lube for anal use in lube for anal sex.

A realistic shape can be combined with a motor. That gives more functions but also more to think about: battery, ingress protection rating and an electronic part that cannot be boiled. We go through the difference between a dildo and a vibrator in the difference between a dildo and a vibrator.

The vibrating King Cock model has a simple motor in the base powered by three AAA batteries and controlled with a stepless rotary dial. The manufacturer states it is waterproof but publishes no IP rating. Hidden Desire Realistic Thrusting & Wiggling Vibrator goes further: thrusting of almost 2 centimetres, side-to-side sweeping of up to 5 centimetres and vibration, with a remote and a detachable suction cup. It is rated IPX6, which means it withstands jets of water but not submersion. More models that move are in the guide to thrusting vibrators.

If you want a dildo that is an exact copy of a real penis, there are cloning kits. The principle is that you first make a mould in an impression material and then fill the mould with silicone that cures into a dildo. It is a project rather than a purchase, and the result depends on how well you follow the instructions.

Cloneboy states that the impression material in its kits is alginate made from natural algae and is gypsum-free. Cloneboy Suction Cup includes two bags of impression material, which gives a second chance if the first mould fails, and a suction cup that is cast into the base. The manufacturer gives a setting time of three minutes for the mould but no curing time for the silicone. For the variant with a vibrator, the instructions give two hours for the mould and 24 hours for the silicone.

Think about safety. The hardener in Cloneboy's kit carries hazard pictograms, and the manufacturer says to avoid skin contact, not to breathe in the fumes and to protect your eyes. Use the gloves included and work with good ventilation. If the finished copy is sticky or smells after curing, the mixture has not cured completely, and it should then not be used. Cloneboy publishes no declaration on phthalates, BPA or latex for its kits.

1. Decide on the material. Silicone if you want to be able to get the dildo completely clean and keep it for a long time; PVC or TPE if you want to try at the lowest cost and accept that it cannot be sterilised.

2. Choose the diameter. It affects the feel more than the length. Go by the manufacturer's measurements, not the figure in the product name.

3. Check the insertable length. The total length includes the suction cup and balls.

4. Think about the base. A suction cup for hands-free use, a harness-compatible base for a strap-on, and a base the manufacturer approves if you want to use it anally.

5. Decide whether you want a motor. A dildo without electronics is the easiest to look after and has no battery to run out.

6. Read the care instructions before you buy. Which lube, whether it can handle heat and how it should be stored say a lot about how long it will last.

Choosing by appearance first. Details such as veins and balls say nothing about the material, and it is the material that determines how clean the dildo can get.

Buying too big. Realistic dildos are often sold in large sizes, and a big name can sound bigger than it is – or the other way round. Read the diameter.

Using the wrong lube. Water-based works with all the materials in this guide. Silicone-based can damage silicone surfaces, and oil-based leaves a film and weakens latex condoms. More in which lube should you choose.

Storing the dildo against other toys. Pipedream states that the vibrating King Cock model should be stored separately from other PVC and silicone toys. Clean and dry, each on its own, is the safe rule; see how to clean sex toys.

A realistic dildo suits you if you want a shape that resembles a real penis – on your own, with a partner or in a harness. It also suits couples where one partner wants to try penetration with something similar to what they are used to. If you would rather have something that does not resemble a body part at all, there are fantasy dildos, and if you want completely hard and non-porous material, there is glass.

More models compared side by side are in best realistic dildo and under dildos. How we read the manufacturers' information is described under how we review.