Lube for anal sex: which one should you choose?

The rectum produces no moisture of its own. With anal sex, lubricant is therefore not an optional extra but a necessity—it reduces friction against a thin, sensitive mucous membrane and makes it easier to relax. The question isn’t whether you should use lubricant, but which one.

Three things determine your choice: whether you use a condom, whether a silicone sex toy is involved, and how long it needs to last. Based on those, the answer is almost always one of the following.

Silicone-based lubricant — when it’s just bodies, possibly with a latex condom, or toys made of glass and metal. It doesn’t dry out, rarely needs reapplying, and isn’t washed away by bodily fluids.

Water-based lubricant — when a silicone toy is used, or when you want something that can be rinsed away with just water. It works with all condoms and all toys, but it dries out faster and needs reapplying.

Oil-based — for example coconut oil, baby oil, or petroleum jelly (Vaseline) — doesn’t work with latex and polyisoprene condoms. Lubricants that numb should be avoided entirely, regardless of the base. That’s explained further down.

Silicone lube consists of silicone oils like dimethicone and dimethiconol, without water. Since there’s no water phase that can evaporate or be absorbed by the skin, it stays on the surface, and that’s why silicone is the most common choice for anal sex. It also doesn’t need any preservatives, and pH and osmolality are not applicable to a lubricant without water.

The downsides are practical. Silicone isn’t rinsed away with just water—it requires soap, it can leave stains on bedsheets and clothes, and it makes smooth floors in showers and bathtubs slippery. The most important caveat applies to toys: silicone lubricants can damage the surface of silicone sex toys.

Water-based lubricant is thickened water, usually with a moisture binder such as glycerin and a preservative. It’s the most compatible choice—with all condoms and all toy materials—and it rinses off with water. But the water evaporates and is absorbed by the mucous membrane, so the lubricant becomes sticky or dry after a while. With anal sex, this means you need to have the bottle close and top up before it feels dry, not after.

Hybrid lubricants mix a water-based base with a smaller amount of silicone and give a creamier feel. They can’t be counted as either one or the other when it comes to toys—read the manufacturer’s instructions for that specific product. A more thorough review of all types of lubricants is in Which lubricant should you choose.

Many people look for a thick lubricant for anal sex, and the idea is reasonable: a thicker gel stays where you put it and doesn’t run off as quickly. But thickness and durability aren’t the same thing. A silicone lubricant can be light-flowing and still last longer than a thick water-based gel, because it doesn’t dry out.

Think in two steps. First, choose the base based on condoms and toys. Then choose the consistency within that base. If you’re limited to water-based—because a silicone toy is being used—a gel or a creamy hybrid gives you more to work with than a thin, liquid lubricant. If silicone is an option, the consistency matters less, since it still doesn’t dry out.

Manufacturers rarely publish any measurement of viscosity. Descriptions like “thick,” “creamy,” or “easy-flowing” often come from shops, not manufacturers, and they’re subjective. What you can check is the ingredient list: thickeners like cellulose and guar give you a gel, emulsified oils and silicones in water give you a cream.

Most anal plugs, anal balls, and prostate vibrators are made of silicone. Orion writes for Cuties Vibrating Mini Butt Plug that only water-based lubricant may be used because silicone-containing products damage the surface. Not all manufacturers are equally clear—Satisfyer recommends lubricant for ,Love Beadswithout specifying a type — but for full silicone such as Love Beads andLovense Hush 2is water-based the safe choice.

The reason is that silicone lube can break down the surface of a silicone sex toy over time. The surface becomes sticky, dull, or porous, and a porous surface can no longer be cleaned properly—an actual problem for a toy used anally. The manufacturers handle the issue differently: pjur recommends that you first try its silicone lube on a small, inconspicuous area of the toy, while Megasol advises against Eros Classic with silicone toys altogether. When the toy’s own manufacturer says water-based, then that’s what applies.

A good water-based lube for anal use has a clear list of ingredients, states which condoms it works with, and explicitly says that it can be used with sex toys. JOYDIVISION states in the instructions for AQUAglide Neutral for vaginal, anal, and oral use and writes explicitly that the gel works with silicone toys. Pjur Aqua is one of the few lubes where the manufacturer certifies both latex and polyisoprene condoms.

Hybrids are popular because they feel fuller than pure water-based lube and last a bit longer. But the documentation is often thinner. For Just Glide Performancethe information about silicone sex toys differs: the wholesaler says it’s suitable for toys, while two German pharmacies state that it should not be used with silicone toys. For Bodywise Liquid SilkThe manufacturer indicates neither condom compatibility nor medical-device classification; the information only comes from shops.

Osmolality is another matter. WHO’s guidance on lubricants says that a water-based lubricant preferably should be below 380 mOsm/kg and, as a temporary upper limit, below 1,200. A very concentrated lubricant draws water out of the mucosa’s cells. Liquid Silk, according to a measurement in an appendix to the WHO guidance, is 3,167 mOsm/kg. If you want a creamy lubricant for anal use, read the manufacturer’s statement carefully—and choose a pure water-based lubricant for silicone sex toys.

There are lubricants marketed for anal sex with numbing substances, for example lidocaine or benzocaine. The idea is to remove the discomfort. The problem is that the discomfort is information.

Pain during anal sex is the body’s signal that something is going too fast, that more lubricant is needed, or that what is being inserted is too large. If you deaden that signal, you can continue past the point where the mucosa gets damaged without noticing it. That’s why the advice is simple: don’t use numbing lubricants for anal sex. If it hurts, stop, add more lubricant, or go back to something smaller—and keep going another day if you need to.

Lubricants with the words “relaxing” or “soothing” in the name are not necessarily numbing. Pjur explicitly states that BACK DOOR Relaxing lacks lidocaine and benzocaine. The relaxing effect that pjur markets is attributed to jojoba oil, and it is the manufacturer’s claim without a published study. What is documented is the recipe: silicone and two plant oils—no numbing substances. Always check the ingredient list if the name suggests an effect.

The same logic applies to lubricants with warming, cooling, or tingling additives. The rectal mucosa is thinner and more sensitive than the skin, and what feels pleasant on the skin can irritate there. A neutral lubricant without fragrance and flavor is the easiest choice.

Latex condoms: both water- and silicone-based lubricants work. Oil-based products—coconut oil, baby oil, petroleum jelly, massage oil, and body lotion—weaken latex and should not be used. The British healthcare system NHS gives the same advice: water- or silicone-based with latex condoms, never oil-based.

Latex-free condoms are mostly made of polyisoprene, which according to WHO’s advice is just as sensitive to oil as latex. Few lube manufacturers mention polyisoprene—Pjur Aqua is an exception. For the silicone lubes in this guide, the manufacturers provide no information about polyisoprene, so the condom’s packaging is the safest source.

With anal sex, the lube is also part of the protection. WHO’s advice points out that extra lubrication reduces the risk of the condom breaking during anal sex. pjur states in its instructions for use that the lube is applied to the outside of the condom after it has been rolled on.

If you switch from anal to vaginal sex, the condom should be changed, and a toy that has been used anally should be washed before it comes into contact with the vagina or mouth, because bacteria from the intestine can otherwise cause infection.

The material of the toy determines which lube it can use. Glass and metal are non-porous and are not affected by any lube, so you can choose silicone lube there and get the benefit that it doesn’t dry out. The glass plug Icicles No. 47is therefore not affected by silicone lube. Remember that the smooth surface of the glass doesn’t reduce friction by itself—even a glass plug needs plenty of lube.

Silicone toys mean water-based. A soft-touch surface, like on Cuties Vibrating Mini, also has higher friction than glossy silicone and needs more lube, not less. Regardless of material, an anal-use toy should have a flared base that prevents it from sliding all the way in. More about size and shape is in Anal plug for beginners and how you use anal balls.

1. Use more than you think. Apply lubricant both to the opening and to what will be inserted—finger, penis, condom, or toy. A finger with lubricant first helps the anal sphincter get used to it.

2. Start slowly. Lubricant doesn’t replace relaxation. Take your time, breathe calmly, and let the muscle give in at its own pace.

3. Reapply on time. With water-based lubricant: apply more before it starts to feel dry. With silicone, it’s rarely necessary, but it doesn’t hurt to have the bottle nearby.

4. Listen to your body. A certain amount of pressure and a feeling of fullness are normal. Sharp pain is not—stop then. If you get bleeding or pain that doesn’t go away, contact healthcare.

5. Wash afterward. Water-based lubricant washes off with water; silicone requires mild soap. Stains from silicone lubricant on textiles can be removed according to pjur only after three to four washes, or faster with stain remover for silicone or oil. Put a towel underneath.

Not enough lubricant. The most common mistake. The rectum doesn’t provide any of its own moisture, so all the lubrication has to come from the bottle.

Silicone lubricant on silicone toys. It can damage the surface of the toy, and a damaged surface can’t be kept clean. Read the toy’s manual.

Oil with a latex condom. Coconut oil and baby oil weaken latex and polyisoprene. This also applies to massage oil that happens to be left out.

Numbing or perfumed lubricant. Numbing masks pain that you need to feel, and fragrance, flavor, and warming additives can irritate the mucous membrane.

Saliva instead of lubricant. Saliva dries out quickly and isn’t enough for anal sex.

Skipping washing between anal and vaginal. Wash the toy or change the condom before it’s used anywhere else.

Just bodies, with or without a latex condom: silicone-based. With a silicone toy: water-based, and plenty of it. With a glass or metal toy: optional, preferably silicone. With a latex-free condom: check the condom’s packaging, or choose a water-based lubricant that confirms polyisoprene. And in any case: no numbing.

All lubricants that have been reviewed against the manufacturers’ ingredient lists, labels, and certificates are ranked in lubricant best in testand underLubricant. Toys are available in anal plug best in test and anal balls best in test. How you take care of the toys afterward is stated in how you clean sex toys, and how the information is reviewed is described under so we review.