Sex toys for beginners: how to choose your first one

Your first sex toy doesn’t need to do much. The most important thing is that it’s easy to understand, that it’s made from a material that you can keep clean, and that it fits the body part you want to explore. A small vibrator with a couple of buttons will teach you more about what you like than an advanced model with apps and twenty programs.

People who have a clitoris usually start with an external toy: a small bullet vibrator, a finger vibrator, or an air pressure stimulator. People who have a penis usually start with a masturbator or a vibrating penis ring. These external or easy-to-understand toys don’t require any preparation, and they tell you a lot about the kind of stimulation you prefer.

Here are the types that are most often recommended as your first toy, and what each one does.

A bullet is a small, elongated vibrator that’s held against the clitoris or other sensitive areas. It’s small, often quiet, and easy to understand.We-Vibe Tango XIt is just under ten centimeters long and has eight intensity levels and seven patterns according to the manufacturer. More models are in the guide to mini vibrators.

An air pressure stimulator has a small opening that’s placed over the clitoris and creates pressure waves instead of vibrating against the skin. The manufacturers describe the technique as touch-free. It can be a simple first choice, because the opening only needs to be placed over the clitoris instead of you having to find the right angle and pressure.Womanizer Prohas eleven intensity levels and two buttons. The difference from a regular vibrator is explained in clitoral stimulator, air-pressure vibrator, or regular vibrator.

A finger vibrator is worn on the finger and works as an extension of the hand, making it easy to control.Svakom Echo 2also has a heat function. A massage wand, or wand, has a large vibrating head and can be used for both massage and clitoral stimulation. It’s bigger and often more powerful, and it’s for you who want broad stimulation – see the guide to massage wands.

A masturbator is a sleeve that surrounds the penis, with or without a motor. A vibrating model that Satisfyer Men Vibration+ has a tapering silicone tunnel and fourteen vibration programs. A vibrating penis ring sits around the base of the penis and can be used both alone and with a partner. Choose an adjustable ring and remove it right away if it causes pressure or numbness. More models are available in the guides to masturbators and penis rings.

Anal toys fit all bodies, but they require more preparation. Start with the smallest model you can find, use plenty of lubricant, and always choose a toy with a flared base that prevents it from sliding in completely. See the guide to anal plugs for models where the manufacturer publishes the measurements.

Once you know what type you want, it’s the same five things that distinguish a good model from a worse one. They’re all listed – or should be listed – in the manufacturer’s specifications.

Choose silicone, glass, or hard plastic such as ABS. Silicone is non-porous and can be cleaned properly, and good manufacturers state that the material is free from phthalates, BPA, and latex. Soft materials such as PVC and TPE are porous and harder to keep clean. If the material isn’t stated at all, choose another model.

If you want the toy to be discreet, the noise level is important. Unfortunately, few manufacturers publish a noise level in decibels—most only say that the product is quiet. Exceptions do exist: Svakom lists at most 50 dB for Echo 2, and Lovense lists 36 dB at the lowest level for "Lush Mini – but none of them states how the value is measured.

The enclosure class indicates how much water the product can handle. IPX7 means that it can withstand submersion one meter deep for 30 minutes, which makes it easy to rinse off and possible to use in the bath. IPX6 and IPX5 can handle water jets and splashes but not submersion. Lovense Domi 2 for example is IPX6 and should not be submerged. Even an IPX7 product should not be boiled or put in the dishwasher if the manufacturer specifies a temperature limit.

Almost all modern toys are rechargeable, but the cables differ. Many have a magnetic cable that only fits that exact model, while for example Satisfyer Pro 2 Generation 3 is charged with a regular USB-C cable. Also check the runtime: it can vary from about one hour to several, and it often decreases at higher intensity—Lovense states 63–236 minutes for Lush Mini depending on the level.

Two or three buttons are more than enough for a first toy. An app provides more patterns and the option to control it remotely, but you rarely need it at the beginning. A travel lock, which is available on, among other things, Tango X and Echo 2, prevents the toy from starting in your bag.

Lubricants make most toys more comfortable. Choose a water-based lubricant for toys made of silicone—silicone-based lubricants can break down the silicone surface and make it porous. If you use a latex condom, you should avoid oil-based products, since oil damages latex. Compare the types in the guide to "lubricants.

Clean the sex toy before and after each use with mild, fragrance-free soap and warm water or a sex toy cleaner. Let it dry completely before you put it away—preferably in its own bag so that different materials don’t lie against each other.

First decide which body part you want to explore and whether you want something external or internal. Then choose the simplest model of that type, in silicone, with a clear specification. If you want to explore with a partner, there is the guide "which sex toy is best for couples, and if you’re thinking about a dildo, there is "10 things to know before you buy your first dildo. The full range of vibrators is in the category "vibrators".