Guide · For couples
The best sex toy for couples is the one that fits what you want to do together: a couple vibrator or a vibrating penis ring for intercourse, an app-controlled toy for playing at a distance, and a strap-on or massage wand if you want to switch roles or start slowly. Here are the types, the differences, and the models that are easiest to start with.
There is no single sex toy that is best for all couples, but there is a question that almost always leads to the right one: when should the toy be used? During intercourse, as foreplay, at a distance, or as a way to switch roles? The answer points to a product type, and only then does it make sense to compare models.
For most couples who buy their first shared toy, the choice ends up in one of two forms. A couple vibrator is worn between the bodies during vaginal intercourse and provides clitoral stimulation at the same time as penetration. A vibrating penis ring sits around the base of the penis and delivers the vibration to the partner on contact. Both are made to be used in the middle of intercourse, not next to it, and that’s why they are often called couple toys.
If you’d rather play at a distance, for example during dinner or when you live in different places, an app-controlled panties vibrator or a vibrating egg is the right type. If you want to switch roles, there are strap-on models, and if you want to start with something low-key, a massage wand works for both massage and clitoral stimulation. Below, we go through each one.
Stores often gather everything under the heading for couples, but the products solve completely different things. The full range is in the category for couples. Here are the five types that couples most often buy, and what each one actually does.
A couple vibrator has an inner arm that is inserted vaginally and an outer part that rests against the clitoris. The penetrating partner can fit next to the inner arm, so the vibration reaches both. The most common form is the C-shape, where the arms are held together by a bend that lightly pinches to stay in place.We-Vibe Sync Oinstead has a closed, O-shaped inner arm that, according to the manufacturer, is anchored without needing to pinch.
What sets the models apart is above all the controls. Some have only one button on the product itself, which makes it difficult to change mode in the middle of intercourse. A remote control or an app lets one partner control it while the toy stays in place. Also take a look at the runtime: We-Vibe lists 150 minutes for Sync O but 90 minutes for the smaller "Sync Go.
An unusual variant is Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples, which combines a vibrating shaft with an air-pressure chamber for the clitoris. It is the only worn couple vibrator with air pressure in our review, with two motors that are controlled separately.
A vibrating penis ring is slid over the base of the penis with a small motor on top. During intercourse, the motor rests against your partner’s clitoris, and the person wearing the ring can feel the vibration along the shaft. It’s one of the easiest couple toys to understand, and it doesn’t require a new position.
The fit is the most important thing. A ring that’s too tight becomes uncomfortable, and one that’s too loose slips. That’s why adjustable models are a safe first choice: Satisfyer Swordsman and Satisfyer Duelist both have a width that’s adjusted steplessly with a dial. Always take the ring off right away if it causes pressure or numbness—this is the manufacturers’ own warning, and it applies to all penis rings.
App-controlled toys make it possible for one partner to control the other partner’s toy—in the same room, at a restaurant, or from another city via the internet. The two most common forms are the panty vibrator, which sits on the outside against the clitoris and is held in place by underwear, and the vibrating egg, which is inserted and carried inside.
Lovense Ferri is attached with a magnet on the outside of the clothing, weighs 35 grams according to the manufacturer, and is intended for external use. Lovense Lush Mini is an egg with a 31-millimeter insertion diameter. Both are controlled with the Lovense Remote app. More options are available in the guide to panty vibrators.
Keep in mind that app control relies on Bluetooth and a phone. It’s convenient at a distance, but less practical in the middle of the bed, where a button or remote control is often faster. Lovense also states that the Bluetooth connection isn’t stable in water, even when the product itself can be submerged.
A strap-on lets one partner penetrate with a dildo that’s worn at the hips, either in a harness or as a harness-free model. It’s a toy for couples who want to switch roles, and it’s used vaginally and anally. How it works and what to think about is covered in the guide how does a strap-on work and in the comparison of strap-on-modeller.
A massage wand is the understated option. The large vibrating head works for both back massage and clitoral stimulation, and it can be held by any partner. For couples who aren’t sure what they like, it’s a good way to explore without committing to a specific position.
The most important step happens before you open a store. Talk about what you’re curious about and what you don’t want, and let both have the right to veto. A toy that one of you has chosen for the other easily ends up in a drawer. These questions usually help:
1. Who should be stimulated? A couple’s vibrator and a penis ring primarily stimulate the clitoris during intercourse. An app-controlled toy usually provides the most for the person who wears it, and the person who controls the play is the one responsible for the play.
2. When should it be used? During intercourse, as foreplay, from a distance, or in the shower? The answer determines the shape—and whether the toy needs to be able to withstand water. IPX7 means the product can be submerged in one meter of water for 30 minutes according to the IEC 60529 standard.
3. How do you want to control it? A button on the product, a remote control, or an app. Think about who should hold the control and whether you want your phone in bed.
4. How big can it be? It’s a good idea to measure it against something you already have. Most manufacturers publish dimensions, and a smaller model is easier to get right the first time.
5. How long does the battery last? Operating time varies a lot between models, from about one hour to several. Also check whether the charging cable is product-specific—many have a magnetic cable that cannot be replaced with a regular USB-C.
6. Does it withstand your lubricant? This is the most common reason a silicone toy gets damaged prematurely—see below.
Choose a silicone toy if you can. Silicone is non-porous, making it easy to clean, and several manufacturers declare that their silicone is free from phthalates, BPA, and latex. Clean the toy before and after each use with mild soap and warm water, or with the cleaning product the manufacturer recommends, and let it dry before putting it away.
Use a water-based lubricant for toys made of silicone. Silicone-based lubricant can break down the silicone surface and make it porous, and several manufacturers explicitly advise against it, as well as against fragranced and alcohol-based lubricants and massage oils. If you use a latex condom, you should avoid oil-based products, because oil damages latex. More about different types can be found in the guide to lubricants.
Only use a toy anally if the manufacturer states that it’s made for that. An anal toy needs a flared base that prevents it from sliding all the way in. We-Vibe, for example, explicitly states that Sync O and Sync Go are not designed for anal use. Change the condom or clean the toy before using it vaginally after anal use.
If you want something for sex already the very first evening, an adjustable vibrating penis ring is the easiest choice, and a couple vibrator is the next step if you want the stimulation to stay in place regardless of movement. If you want to play outside the bedroom, an app-controlled panty vibrator is the right type. And if you’re not sure what you like, a massage wand is the toy that most couples can share without anyone needing to decide in advance.
No matter what you choose: read the manufacturer’s specifications before buying—materials, dimensions, water resistance, and runtime—and compare the same things between the models. That’s how we read them too, and every number in our reviews has a source.
