Guide · Strap-on
A strapless strap-on is a harness-free double-ended dildo: the shorter, often bulb-shaped end is inserted vaginally by the wearer and held in by the pelvic floor muscles, while the longer end points outwards. No harness is needed, and the wearer gets stimulation at the same time – but it takes practice, and it doesn't suit every body equally well.
A regular strap-on consists of two parts: a harness that fastens around the waist and thighs, and a dildo that sits in a ring at the front of the harness. A strapless strap-on (harness-free strap-on) is instead a single piece, often silicone, with two ends. The shorter end is inserted vaginally by the wearer, and the longer end points outwards and is used to penetrate the partner.
What keeps it in place is the shape and the pelvic floor muscles. On many models the inner end is shaped like a bulb, wider at the far end, and the muscles hold it in – Lovense calls that part of Lapis the bulb section. ToyJoy describes its Nymphea as a harness-free double dildo held in place by the pelvic floor muscles, and Lovense calls Lapis a dual-ended vibrating strapless strap-on.
Because of where the inner end sits, the person wearing a strapless strap-on gets stimulation at the same time – something a regular harness rarely provides. Many models also have a motor in the inner end, the outer end or both. The basics of strap-ons in general, harnesses and O-rings are covered in how does a strap-on work.
The advantage of strapless is simplicity and closeness. There are no straps to adjust, no buckles and nothing rubbing against the hips, and your bodies can get closer. The wearer gets stimulation from the inner end, and models with a motor give vibration both ways.
The downside is stability. A harness holds the dildo in place however you move; a strapless strap-on relies on muscles that tire, and it can slip out or change angle. The review of Lovense Lapis addresses exactly that: the harness-free design requires pelvic floor work and has a learning curve. Strapless also requires that the wearer can and wants to insert part of it vaginally.
In short: choose strapless if you value closeness and both of you getting stimulation, and if you're prepared to practise. Choose a harness if you want stability, the freedom to switch dildo and size, or if the wearer doesn't want anything inside them.
A strapless strap-on is designed for a wearer with a vagina. The inner end is meant to be inserted vaginally, and it must not be worn anally: ToyJoy's instructions tie anal use to products with a flared base, and the harness-free shape has no such base. Anyone who wants to wear a strap-on without inserting anything, or who doesn't have a vagina, needs a harness.
It suits you best if you're already comfortable inserting a toy vaginally and have some control over your pelvic floor. If the muscles are weak, the inner end can slip out, and then the experience becomes more frustrating than pleasurable. Kegel exercises can help, and the guide to Kegel balls explains how to train the pelvic floor with aids.
It also suits couples where both want to feel something at the same time, and it can be used solo. The manufacturer describes the XOCOON Strapless Strap-On Pulse Vibe as both a harness-free strap-on for couples and a rabbit vibrator for solo use.
On a strapless strap-on there are two measurements that matter: the inner end, which has to suit the wearer, and the outer end, which has to suit the partner. Manufacturers are worse at publishing the first than the second.
Lovense is an exception. According to the manufacturer's size graphic, Lapis is 230 millimetres long in total, with 138 millimetres insertable on the outer arm and 87 millimetres in the bulb section, and the largest circumference is given as 41 millimetres. Get-Real Toyjoy Strapon Strapless has a complete dimension drawing: 23 centimetres in total, a 14-centimetre shaft, Ø 3.8 centimetres on the penetrating part and Ø 4.5 centimetres on the insertion part.
For other models the figures are missing. XOCOON gives 19.5 centimetres in total and 17.5 centimetres insertable, but doesn't publish the length of the short end. For Toy Joy Nymphea the manufacturer publishes no measurements at all; the figures in shops – 20 centimetres in total and 12 centimetres penetrating – come from the shops themselves.
Also consider the angle between the ends. The shape is fixed, and it determines where the outer arm points when the inner end is in place. It can't be adjusted, and it suits different bodies differently. How to read dildo measurements in general is explained in what size dildo should you choose.
Strapless strap-ons come both fully manual and with several motors. A model without a motor, like the Get-Real Toyjoy, has no battery to run flat, no charging cable and no motor noise, and it can be rinsed like an ordinary dildo. It's also light – 224 grams according to one shop.
Models with a motor give vibration both ways, and that's one of the main reasons many people choose strapless. Lapis, XOCOON and Nymphea all have three motors according to the manufacturers. For Nymphea, one shop gives the placement: one motor in each end and one at the clitoral surface.
A motor also raises the question of control. A button on the product itself is hard to reach once it's in place – the XOCOON review points out that the button becomes inaccessible during use. That's why most have a remote or an app.
Lapis is controlled with seven patterns on a button or fully via the Lovense Remote app, and the manufacturer states that it can be controlled from a distance. XOCOON and Nymphea come with a physical remote and have no app. A remote needs no phone and no account; an app gives more patterns and the option to control it from somewhere else.
For a strapless strap-on used together in the same room, a remote is often enough, and it's easier to reach during use. We go through the differences between the two control methods in remote-controlled sex toys: remote or app?.
1. Try it yourself first. Let the wearer insert the inner end calmly, ideally lying down, and get a feel for how the shape sits and how much the muscles need to hold it.
2. Use lube thoughtfully. Water-based lube on the part that goes inside the partner. On the inner end a little may be enough – too much can make it harder to keep in place.
3. Support it with your hand at first. A hand at the base helps until you know how much it moves.
4. Choose positions where the wearer has support and can move in a controlled way. Small movements often work better than big ones.
5. Communicate. Say if the angle feels wrong, if it slips or if something hurts, and stop if it does.
6. Expect it to take more than one attempt. The learning curve is part of this type of product.
Use water-based lube. That applies to all the strapless models in our reviews: ToyJoy's instructions state that oil- and silicone-based lubes can damage the material, XOCOON's manual says the same, and silicone-based lube can make silicone surfaces porous over time.
Use a condom on the outer arm if you want to keep cleaning simple, and change it if you switch between body parts or people. Lovense recommends a condom on the outer arm of Lapis. Oil weakens latex condoms, which is another reason to stick to water-based. More on the combination in lube and condoms.
The outer arm can be used vaginally on the partner. If you want to try anal on the partner, pegging, we cover that – with a harness and a dildo with a wide base – in the guide to how a strap-on works and lube for anal sex. Any part that has been in contact with the anus must always be washed or get a new condom before it comes into contact with the vagina.
Clean the whole product – both ends – with lukewarm water and a mild, unscented soap before and after use, and let it dry completely. A model without a motor can be rinsed all over. ToyJoy does, however, state that the Get-Real Toyjoy must not be exposed to temperatures above 45 degrees, which rules out boiling and the dishwasher.
For models with a motor, the IP rating decides. Lapis is IPX7 according to the manufacturer and can be submerged. XOCOON is IPX5, and the manufacturer's manual states that splash-proof products must not be used in water but may be cleaned with water. Nymphea has no published IP rating, so rinse it but don't submerge it until you've checked the rating on the packaging. More on the ratings in waterproof sex toys.
Only use the charging cable that comes with it. XOCOON and ToyJoy both state that only the supplied cable may be used, and Lapis charges with Lovense's magnetic cable. More care advice in how to clean sex toys.
Expecting it to sit like a harness. It doesn't, and the wearer needs to work with their muscles.
Only looking at the outer arm. The inner end decides whether the product can be used at all.
Using it in the bath without checking the IP rating. IPX5 isn't enough for submersion.
Wearing it anally. The harness-free shape has no flared base.
Using silicone lube on a silicone product. Stick to water-based.
If strapless doesn't work for you – because the wearer doesn't want anything inside them, because the muscles aren't up to it or because you want to be able to switch sizes – a harness with an O-ring is the flexible alternative. You2Toys Universal Harness has three interchangeable metal rings of 4, 5 and 6 centimetres, and you choose the dildo yourselves. It should have a base that's wider than the ring.
More models – harnesses, harness-free and complete sets – can be found in best strap-on and under for couples. If you want to read more about toys for two, there's which sex toy is best for couples. How we read the manufacturers' information is described under how we review.
