Guide · For couples
A sex toy is a good gift for a partner if you’ve talked about it first and if you choose something simple: a toy made of body-friendly silicone, in a size that isn’t too big, with clear manufacturer specifications. The safest gifts are external vibrators, clitoral stimulators, and toys for both of you—not the biggest or most advanced model.
A sex toy as a gift can be one of the most personal things you give someone—and one of the easiest to miss. The difference is almost always in the prep work. A toy that you’ve talked about, or that you know your partner is curious about, becomes a thoughtful gift. A toy that comes as a total surprise can instead feel like a suggestion of what she or he should want.
If you’re going to give a sex toy as a gift, a Christmas present, or on an anniversary, there are three rules of thumb. Talk about it first, directly or indirectly. Choose a type that’s easy to understand and doesn’t require you to know exactly what you want. And choose quality over features: body-friendly silicone, a published specification, and a manufacturer that states a warranty.
Below, we’ll go through how you bring it up, which types are safest to give, how you think about size and material, and what you should think about regarding delivery and packaging. The product suggestions are based on the manufacturers’ published information.
It sounds like it would ruin the surprise, but it rarely does. You don’t need to tell what you’re thinking of buying—just find out what’s welcome. A few ways to do it:
Ask openly. “Have you ever been curious to try a toy?” is a simple question that provides a lot of information—both about the answer and about how the question is received.
Look together. Browsing a guide or a category together without buying anything shows what sparks interest and what doesn’t.
Listen for what’s already been said. Many people have mentioned a type of toy, a fantasy, or something they’ve read about. That’s often the best clue.
If the answer is no or doubtful, respect it. A sex toy should be an invitation, not an expectation. And if your partner already has toys you don’t know about, it’s nothing to take personally—a new toy is an addition, not a replacement for anything.
The safest gift is a toy that’s external, small, and easy to understand. It doesn’t require the recipient to know exactly what they like, and it works both alone and together. Two types stand out:
A small vibrator for point stimulation, which We-Vibe Tango X. According to the manufacturer, it’s barely ten centimeters long, has eight intensity levels and seven patterns, and comes with a storage pouch and a small sample of lube. More about this type can be found in the comparison of minivibrators.
A clitoral stimulator with air pressure, which stimulates without direct contact and is one of the most popular toy types. Satisfyer Secret Kiss is small enough to resemble a lipstick, has a cap over the opening, and charges with standard USB-C. The difference between air pressure and regular vibrators is explained in the guide clitoral stimulator or air pressure vibrator.
Size. If the toy is meant to be inserted, size is the easiest thing to get wrong. What looks like the right size in a picture is often bigger in real life, and a toy that’s too large will just sit there. Choose something smaller than you think, read the manufacturer’s measurements in millimeters, and feel free to compare it with something you already have. More about it in the guide What size dildo?For external sex toys, size matters less, but the fit does — Womanizer solves it for Premium 2 by including two stimulation tips in sizes S and M.
Material. Choose body-friendly silicone, glass, or metal. They are non-porous and can be cleaned properly. Several manufacturers declare that their silicone is free from phthalates, BPA, and latex — for example, We-Vibe and Womanizer do this for the models below. More about the materials in the guide "safe materials in sex toys.
Water resistance. A toy with IPX7 can be submerged for one meter for 30 minutes according to the IEC 60529 standard, which makes it easy to clean and possible to use in the shower. It’s a simple quality marker to look for.
Warranty and charging. A toy with a longer warranty and a charging cable that’s easy to replace is a better gift than one that stops working after a few months. Most toys come with a product-specific magnet cable — that’s normal, but it’s a good idea to mention it so the cable isn’t thrown away with the packaging.
For a partner with a vulva, clitoral stimulation is the safest choice for most. An air-pressure stimulator or an external vibrator works for both someone who’s new and someone who already has toys from before.Womanizer Premium 2 is a gift choice at the upper end of the range: full silicone, fourteen intensity levels, 240 minutes of run time, and two tip sizes.
If you know that your partner wants something that’s also inserted, the next step is a rabbit vibrator with both an inner and an outer arm. We-Vibe Nova 2 has a flexible outer arm, two separately adjustable motors, and full silicone. More suggestions are in the guide "Sex toys for women and the comparison of clitoral stimulators.
A couple’s toy is the most inclusive gift choice, because it’s about something you do together. The simplest are a vibrating penis ring and a couple’s vibrator, both of which are used during intercourse, and a massage wand that works for both massage and stimulation.
Satisfyer Swordsman has steplessly adjustable width, which solves the sizing issue that is otherwise difficult with penis rings.We-Vibe Sync O is a couple’s vibrator with a remote control in the package, and We-Vibe Wand 2 a massage wand in full silicone. More about how you choose together can be found in the guide which sex toy is best for couples.
For a partner with a penis, the most common gift choice is a masturbator or an acorn vibrator, and a vibrating penis ring if it’s meant to be used together. Here, the fit is important in the same way that size is for toys that are inserted: a masturbator with an open design or adjustable straps fits more people.
Lovense Gush 2is full silicone, open and hands-free with two straps, and Satisfyer Men Vibration+has fourteen vibration programs and IPX7. More suggestions are in the guide sex toys for men.
If your partner already has toys, the easiest thing is to ask what she or he is missing or wants to replace. A new toy of the same type is rarely a hit, but another type might be—for example, an air-pressure simulator for the person who only has vibrators, or an app-controlled toy for someone who’s curious about letting you control it. Another great choice is what makes the existing toys better: a high-quality lube, a toy cleaning product, or a storage pouch. These aren’t big gestures, but they show that you’ve listened.
Many shops that sell sex toys ship in neutral packaging without a logo, but the terms differ. Check beforehand what’s written on the package and on the invoice or account statement—especially if the gift is going to be delivered to an address where someone else could receive it.
Also think about the right of return. Hygiene items that have been opened are often not covered by the same right of return as other goods, because the seal can’t be restored. So keep the packaging unopened until you know the gift is welcome, and read the shop’s terms.
Charge the toy before you wrap it if the packaging allows it — or add a note that it needs to be charged. A toy that’s empty on batteries the first time is an unnecessary anticlimax.
Too big. The most common mistake. Choose something smaller than you think if the toy is meant to be inserted.
Too advanced. More features don’t mean a better gift. A simple toy that’s used is better than an advanced one left in the box.
Wrong setting. A sex toy in a gift-opening moment with family or colleagues becomes awkward for the recipient. Give it when you’re alone.
No lubricant. Many toys get better with lube. Choose water-based for toys in silicone, since silicone-based lubricants can break down the surface. See the comparison of lubricant and the category lubricant.
Forgotten care. It’s a good idea to include a line about how the toy is cleaned — with mild soap and lukewarm water before and after use. More in the guide how to clean sex toys. And if a toy is to be used anally: only if the manufacturer specifies it, and only with a flared base.
