Guide · Prostate massage
The prostate is reached via the anus, a few centimeters toward the front of the body. As a beginner, you start slowly with plenty of glide lubricant and either a finger or a small, curved prostate vibrator with a wide base—and you stop right away if it hurts.
Prostate massage means that the prostate is stimulated with pressure, either from within through the anus or from outside via the perineum, the area between the scrotum and the anus. It can be done with a finger or with a toy that’s shaped for the purpose. There’s no requirement—many people find that pressure from outside is enough, while others want to explore more.
For anyone who’s new, there are four things. Take your time and be relaxed. Use plenty of glide lubricant, because the anus has no lubrication of its own. Choose a small toy with a curved shape and a base that can’t slip inside. And stop right away if it hurts—discomfort is a signal to go slower, pain is a signal to stop.
The rest of the guide goes through the anatomy, the preparations, how you choose shape and size, a step-by-step process, and how to take care of the toy afterwards. The information about the products comes from the manufacturers’ published specifications and manuals.
The prostate is a small gland located under the bladder. It contributes to semen and surrounds the urethra, which runs from the bladder to the penis. The gland sits right in front of the anus, and that’s why it can be reached with a finger or with a toy that’s inserted a few centimeters and directed toward the front of the body—toward the navel.
That’s why prostate toys are curved. A straight toy points backward along the anus, while a curved insertion part applies its pressure to the front wall. Most prostate vibrators also have an outer arm that rests against the perineum, so that the prostate gets pressure from two directions at the same time.
How it feels varies a lot from person to person. Some describe a deep, pressure-like pleasurable sensation, others don’t notice much during the first times. A feeling that you need to pee is common at the beginning, because the prostate sits right next to the urethra. It usually goes away when your body gets used to it, but it’s a reason to go to the bathroom beforehand.
Most problems the first time are about stress, too little glide lubricant, or a toy that’s too large—not about the technique itself. The preparations are therefore simple, but worth taking seriously.
Go to the toilet in good time and shower. No special emptying is needed for a short session with a finger or a small toy. Cut and file your nails if you’re going to use your fingers, or use a disposable glove; the mucous membrane in the rectum is thin, and a sharp nail can cause small injuries.
Put everything you need out before you start: lubricant, a towel, possibly a condom for the toy, and something to wipe yourself with. Choose a time when you won’t be disturbed. Lie on your side with your knees drawn up or on your back with a pillow under your hip—both positions make it easier to relax your pelvic floor.
Start on the outside. Massage the perineum with your fingers and a little lubricant, and then let a finger rest against the anal opening without pushing it in. Breathe out calmly; when the muscles let go on their own, it’s easier to insert the finger or the toy. The external sphincter muscle that sits furthest out can be relaxed on purpose, but the internal one only does so when you’re relaxed.
Lubricant isn’t optional for prostate massage. The rectum produces no moisture of its own, and friction against the mucous membrane can cause both discomfort and small sores. Use more than you think you’ll need, on both the toy and the anal opening, and top up while you’re at it.
The type is determined by the toy’s material. For silicone toys—this applies to almost all prostate vibrators—you should use a water-based lubricant. Several of the manufacturers say this explicitly: Lelo warns in the manual for "Lelo Hugo 2 for silicone-based lubricant and hand creams can make the silicone surface permanently sticky, and Svakom exempts damage caused by anything other than water-based lubricant from the warranty.
Silicone-based lubricant lasts longer and works well for fingers or toys made of glass and metal, which can tolerate all lubricants. Oil should not be used together with latex condoms, because it weakens latex. Read more in "lubricants for anal sex and which lubricant should you choose.
The most important figure is the length and diameter of the insertion part, not the overall dimensions. For a first toy, a shorter and narrower one is better: the prostate isn’t positioned deep, and a narrow toy is easier to insert in a relaxed way. You can always move up in size later.
Here are the insertion measurements that the manufacturers themselves publish for a few common models. Lelo Hugo 2 has an insertion part of 72 millimeters, the shortest in the comparison, but Lelo does not state a diameter. Svakom Vick Neo 2 is stated as 80 × 30 millimeters. Rocks-Off O Boy has an insertable length of 90 millimeters and a circumference of 78.5 millimeters, and the manufacturer describes it as the series’ slim model for first-time users. Lovense Edge 2 has 91 millimeters and a maximum diameter of 35 millimeters.
As a comparison, Svakom Iker Neo has an insertion part of 100 × 31 millimeters and, according to the manufacturer, is aimed at intermediate and experienced users. It’s a more reasonable second purchase than a first.
More models are compared in Best-in-test prostate vibrators. If you're unsure whether anal stimulation at all is something for you, a small anal plug can be an even easier first step; see anal plug for beginners.
The rectum can draw objects in, and a toy without a stop can glide in completely and be hard to get out. Everything you insert anally should therefore have a flared or crosswise base that is clearly wider than the insertion part. This applies to toys — never objects that aren't made for that purpose.
On a prostate vibrator, the outer perineal arm and the base fulfill that function. Rocks-Off O Boy, for example, has a wide, crosswise base that can't pass through. On a straight toy, the base should be flat and wide: the manufacturer of the glass dildos Gildo Glass Dildo No. 4 states that the flat base makes it safe for anal penetration, and that the shaft is slightly bent for the prostate or G-spot.
Don't let go of a toy that lacks a proper base, and never use ordinary vibrators, anal balls without a loop, or improvised objects anally.
1. Get calm. Warm up by massaging the perineum from the outside for a while. Many people think that a certain amount of arousal first makes it easier to relax.
2. Apply lubricant to the toy and around the anal opening. Put a condom on the toy if it will be shared, and apply lubricant on top of the condom as well.
3. Insert slowly with the tip first, in rhythm with exhaling. Stop when it meets resistance and wait until the muscles let go. Never push through resistance.
4. When the insert piece is in place and the base rests against the perineum: lie still for a while. Use gentle movements, lightly tighten with the pelvic floor, or move your hip to shift the pressure. Start any vibration on the lowest level.
5. Explore at a calm pace. Change the angle a little at a time; for most, the comfortable pressure is against the front wall, not deep inside.
6. Remove the toy just as slowly as you put it in, preferably during exhalation. Clean it right away.
A manual toy provides pure pressure and nothing else, which is essentially what prostate massage is all about. A vibrator adds a movement that many people find enhances the sensation, but it’s not necessary.
How the vibration reaches the prostate differs between the models. In Rocks-Off O BoyThe bullet sits in the base against the perineum, so the insert piece vibrates only indirectly through the silicone. Lelo Hugo 2 has two motors, one in the base and one in the top.Lovense Edge 2 has two motors that can be controlled separately in the app, and a bendable neck that keeps its position, so the angle can be adjusted to your body.
Also consider practical things. Lelo Hugo 2 automatically switches off after 20 minutes to protect the motor.Rocks-Off Rude Boy and O Boy are powered by a replaceable N-battery instead of a built-in cell, and Rocks-Off advises against rechargeable batteries in them because the voltage becomes too low.
Too big of a toy. Choose based on the insertion size and start rather too small than too large.
Not enough lubricant. Use more than you think and top up as soon as it starts to resist.
Pressing too hard. The prostate responds to even, gentle pressure; hard movements more often cause discomfort than pleasure.
Expecting instant results. Many need several sessions before the sensation becomes clear. That’s normal.
Wrong lubricant for a silicone toy. Silicone-based lubricants can damage the surface of silicone toys, and a damaged surface can’t be cleaned properly.
Wash the toy with lukewarm water and mild, unscented soap right after use and let it dry completely. Most prostate vibrators in this review are water-resistant according to the manufacturer and can be rinsed under the tap. Avoid harsh agents: Rocks-Off advises against dish soap and alcohol-based products, and Lelo prohibits cleaning products containing alcohol, gasoline, or acetone. Close the battery compartment cover properly before you rinse.
If the toy is to be shared, use a new condom every time and wash it between people. A toy used anally must always be washed before it comes into contact with the vagina or mouth. More about materials and methods is available in how you clean sex toys, and more anal products can be found under anal toys. How we read the manufacturers’ information is described under so we review.
